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Thứ Sáu, 27 tháng 2, 2015
An Irishman, a Greek, and a Jew die and stand at the gates of heaven
The keeper of the gates tells them "Well, you have all lived pretty decent lives, but you all fall victim to your respective stereotypes. So here's what's going to happen. You all will go back down to earth for 24 hours and you must avoid your weaknesses. "Irishman, alcohol cannot touch your lips. "Jew, you cannot touch money. "And Greek, if you even think about having sex... "You go straight to hell." So they all find themselves back on earth. They go about their day just find, until they pass by a pub. The Irishman shakes and shakes. "I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!" he cries. He runs into the bar and orders a beer. As soon as he takes his first sip, he disappears into a puff of smoke. The Jew and the Greek look at each other in disbelief. They leave the pub and walk a little bit. Then they spot a crisp $100 bill on the ground. The jew shakes and shakes. "I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!" he cries. He runs over to the bill, bends over and they both go to hell.
Brunette goes to the doctor
A brunette goes into a doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.
"Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me."
She takes her finger, presses on her elbow, and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams, and so it goes on; everywhere she touches makes her scream with pain.
The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette are you?" She says, "No, I dyed my hair. I'm naturally blonde." "I thought so," he says. "Your finger is broken."
Wife texts husband, "Windows frozen, won't open."
Husband replies, "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and gently tap edges with hammer."
Wife sends back 5 minutes later, "Computer is really messed up now."
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