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Thứ Hai, 2 tháng 3, 2015

Met a cute guy at the bar, gave him my number and told him to text me when he got home


I guess he's homeless.



Getting married in heaven.


On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple is involved in a fatal car accident. The couple find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they begin to wonder: Could they possibly get married in Heaven? When St. Peter showed up, they asked him.


St. Peter said, 'I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out,' and he leaves.


The couple sat and waited, and waited. Two months passed and the couple are still waiting. While waiting, they began to wonder what would happen if it didn't work out; could you get a divorce in heaven. After yet another month, St. Peter finally returns, looking somewhat bedraggled.


'Yes,' he informs the couple, 'you can get married in Heaven.'


'Great!' said the couple, 'But we were just wondering, what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?'


St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard onto the ground. 'What's wrong?' asked the frightened couple.


'OH, COME ON!', St. Peter shouted, 'It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it'll take me to find a lawyer ?



Why potatoes are the best veggie

http://ift.tt/1E83TqS


Us vs Them.

http://ift.tt/1G7YlPz


Hey, you! Let's fight!

http://ift.tt/1w3Mj6w


Talking to the devil

http://ift.tt/1vPPyy7