A man took his father to a nursing home for the first time. His father was an elderly man, who had to be in a wheelchair. They toured the facility by themselves and at the end of the tour, the man told his father that he needed to use the restroom and would leave him in the common area for a few minutes to decide whether this place was right for him.

A moment passed, and the father started to lean to his right side very slowly, to which a nurse at the desk promptly rushed up to him, leaned him back upright and put a pillow on his right side, and then went on to take care of another patient.

After another moment passed, the father started leaning to his left side, to which another nurse who was passing by, promptly leaned him back upright and put a pillow on his left side, and then went on to take care of another patient.

After another moment passed, the father started leaning forward in his wheelchair, to which a third nurse noticed this, promptly leaned him back to upright and put 3 pillows on his lap, and then went on to take care of another patient.

The man returned, and upon seeing his elderly father with pillows says, "Wow Pop, you look very comfortable! What do you think of this place?"

The father, frowned, turned to his son and said, "Son, this place is horrible, they don't even let you fart here!"

The Number Bar

02:41 Jokes No comments

So, a man moves into a new neighbourhood. On the first night there he decides to go to a bar to try and get to know the local culture. As he walks into the bar a man yells out,

'Seventy-six.'

Every on else in the bar starts to laugh. So the man thinks, 'that's pretty weird', but nevertheless he walks up to the bar. As he's about to order a drink someone yells out,

'Forty three!'

Again, everyone gives a bit of a chuckle.

The man is a bit confused now, so he asks the barman,

'I'm new to the neighbourhood. What's the deal with people yelling out numbers?'

'Well,' the barman replies, 'we get a lot of usuals here, so in order to save time, we've numbered all our best jokes. That way, if someone wants to tell a joke, they just yell out a number, and everyone else knows what they mean. How about you give it a try?

So the man thinks for a second, and yells,

'OK. Ninety-six!'.

This gets a great response. In fact, people begin to laugh raucously. People fall off their chairs, drinks are knocked off of tables as people simply cannot contain their laughter.

The man is slightly shocked at this response, so he asks the barman,

'Why was that one so funny.'

And the barman, wiping tears of laughter from his eye, responds,

'Well, we've never heard that one before!'