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Thứ Tư, 1 tháng 4, 2015
A Husband And Wife Go Golfing
A husband and wife who are avid golfers have been happily married for 30 years, and on the day of their 30th anniversary they enjoy a wonderful day together. They have a delicious breakfast in bed, then proceed to one of their favorite golf courses. They play through to the 9th hole, both having an amazing game. The husband watches his beautiful wife tee off and feels a rush of emotion and guilt. "Honey, I have to tell you something. At the very beginning of our marriage, I was with another woman. It only happened once and I've been faithful ever since. It was a mistake and I hope you can forgive me." The wife looks fondly at him. "I forgive you. We've had a very happy life together. I love you." The husband is so relieved, feeling light as a feather. They play a few more holes in bliss when suddenly the wife turns to her husband. "Honey, I too have something to confess." The husband smiles and says, "Anything dear - you were so gracious to me, and we can make it through anything." "Before we met, I had an operation. I used to be a man." The husband throws his club down and starts swearing and kicking up turf. The wife is in shock. "But I forgave you for your secret!" The husband, red faced, turns to her and says, "All these years! All these years you've been teeing off from the ladies tee box you cheater!!"
A woman teaches her virgin boyfriend...
A woman teaches her virgin boyfriend about sex. She suggests some 69 and has him lay down with her on top. As she starts sucking him, she lowers her pussy to his face and accidentally farts.
Embarrassed, she jumps up and says they should try again. As soon as she squats on his face, she farts again.
The guy then says: Can we try something else? I don't think I can take 67 more of these.
A guy asks his girl friend to marry him...
A guy asks his girl friend to marry him and she says yes, so he buys her a new car - a Lamborghini Countach - she loves this car and she goes everywhere in it. One day, she picks up her kids from school. She's got a boy and a girl. As she's driving down the road, a car pulls up in front of her and they have a really nasty accident and she falls into a coma. When she wakes up from the coma there is a doctor next to her and she quickly asks doctor, "Where is my son? He was really good at football, he could have played for England and been better than Beckham."
The doctor replies, "I'm so sorry, in the accident he lost his leg he won't be able to kick a football any more."
The woman asks about her daughter. "Doctor, where is my daughter? She was really good at tennis and she could have been the best in the world and won at Wimbledon."
The doctor says, "Sorry but in the accident she lost her arms and she won't be able to pick up a racket any more." She begins to cry.
"Doctor," asks the woman, "how long have I been in this coma?"
The doctor replies, "Six months."
"So what's the date?" asks the woman.
"April 1st," says the doctor.
The woman begins to laugh "So you were joking then, were you?"
Doctor: "YES... they both died on impact."
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