Because he wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
(sorry if this offends anyone)
Thứ Ba, 5 tháng 5, 2015
Colin the Aboriginal
A rich man living in Darwin decided that he wanted to throw a party. He invited all of his friends and neighbours including Colin, the local aboriginal in the neighborhood.
He held the party around the pool in the backyard of his mansion. Everyone was having a good time drinking, dancing, eating prawns and flirting…
At the height of the party, the host said, “I've got a 15ft man-eating crocodile in my pool and I’ll give a million dollars to anyone who has the guts to jump in.”
The words were barely out of his mouth when there was a loud splash.. everyone turned around to see that Colin was in the pool fighting the croc. He was jabbing the croc in the eyes with his fingers, throwing punches at it's snout and biting it's tail as the crocodile snapped violently back.
There was water churning and splashing everywhere. Both Colin and the croc were raising hell…
Finally after a few minutes of intense struggling a calm came over the pool.. the thrashing stopped, the splashing water died down and the croc floated to the top of the pool... bobbing upside down like a dead goldfish. Exhausted and gasping for air Colin clambered out of the pool.
Everybody stood in silence, staring at him in disbelief.
The host said, “Well, Colin, I reckon I owe you a million dollars.”
“Nah, you all right boss, I don’t want it,” said Colin.
The rich man said, “Mate, I've gotta give you something. You won a hell of a bet. How about half a million bucks then?”
“Nah thanks. I don’t wannit,” answered Colin.
The host said, “Come on, Colin, I insist on giving you something. That was amazing. How about you take my new Porsche?
Again, Colin said “No.”
Confused, the rich man asked, “Well Colin, what do you want then?”
Colin said, “I just want to find the bastard who pushed me in.”
Buisness
Dad: I want you to marry a girl of my choice.
Son: No!
Dad: The girl is Bill Gates' daughter.
Son: Then okay.
Dad goes to Bill Gates...
Dad: I want your daughter to marry my son.
Bill Gates: No!
Dad: My son is the CEO of World Bank.
Bill Gates: Then okay.
Dad goes to the President of the World Bank...
Dad: Appoint my son as CEO.
President: No!
Dad: He is the son-in-law of Bill Gates.
President: Then ok.
This is BUSINESS
Al Sharpton goes to Best Buy
Al Sharpton heads into best buy and is browsing the appliance section. He calls over a young white male employee.
Al: Hey young man, I'd like to register a complaint. Best Buy Guy: What seems to be the issue sir? Al: Well you see son, all of these washers are white! This is outrageous! Best Buy Guy: (opens the lid and points inside the machine) Well if you look inside sir, you'll see that all the agitators are black.
Memory trick
Two very elderly couples bump into each other in the street, Jack says " hi there George, how are you?" George says " Great! we've just been to that new memory clinic, they teach you how to remember things using word association, it's really good" Jack asks " really? what's the name of the clinic?" George thinks for a moment and then says " let me see, eh, what do you call that flower with a thorny stem?" Jack says "A rose"? "Ah yes that's it" George turns to his wife...."Rose, what's the name of that clinic"?
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