Her joie de vivre is to die for!
Thứ Năm, 7 tháng 5, 2015
Watch These Cute Penguins Take A Massive Collective Poop To Melt Ice
This literal shitstorm can actually help the species have sex. Isn’t science beautiful?
Meet the gentoo penguin of Antarctica. Unfortunately, these cuddly little guys are on the decline.
Oxford University scientists wanted to find out exactly how human behavior and climate change are affecting penguins, so they set up a massive citizen science project with the help of over 1 million volunteers called Penguin Watch.
Tim Laman / Via youtube.com
Project Penguin Watch set up a bunch of remote cameras throughout Antarctica and asked volunteers online to flag any images showing "strange or surprising" penguin behavior.
Penguin Watch / Via penguinwatch.org
And they came across this unusual time-lapse video of a penguin poo party. In fact, the beautiful sea of penguin poop was so large that it actually melted ice.
The darker color of penguin poo absorbs more heat than the lighter color of snow, which causes the ice to melt, according to the University of Oxford. Scientists think that penguins may unintentionally use poo to melt the ice.
Penguin Watch / Via penguinwatch.org
Gentoo penguins breed on rocky surfaces rather than ice, so they need the snow to melt in order to have sex. Basically, poo helps them get laid.
BBC / Via media.giphy.com
A teacher is teaching a class
A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Johnny isn't paying attention, so she asks him, "If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?" Johnny says, "None." The teacher asks, "Why?" Johnny says, "Because the shot scared them all off." The teacher says, "No, two, but I like how you're thinking." Johnny asks the teacher, "If you see three women walking out of an ice cream parlor, one is licking her ice cream, one is sucking her ice cream, and one is biting her ice cream, which one is married?" The teacher says, "The one sucking her ice cream." Johnny says, "No, the one with the wedding ring, but I like how you're thinking!"
Paddy had been drinking
Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the night celebrating Ireland's football victory. Mick, the bartender, says "You'll not be drinking any more tonight, Paddy" Paddy replies "OK Mick, I'll be on me way then." Paddy spins around on his stool and steps off. He falls flat on his face. "Shoite" he says and pulls himself up by the stool and dusts himself off. He takes a step towards the door and falls flat on his face. "Shoite, Shoite!" He looks to the doorway and thinks to himself that if he can just get to the door and some fresh air he'll be fine. He belly crawls to the door and shimmies up to the door frame. He sticks his head outside and takes a deep breath of fresh air, feels much better and takes a step out onto the sidewalk. He falls flat on his face. "Bi'Jesus... I'm tanked," he says. He can see his house just a few doors down, and crawls to the door and shimmies up the door frame, opens the door and shimmies inside. He takes a look up the stairs and says "No way!" He crawls up the stairs to his bedroom door and says "If i can just make it to me bed." He takes a step into the room and falls flat on his face. He says "to hell with it" and falls into bed. The next morning, his wife, Jess, comes into the room carrying a cup of coffee and says, "Get up Paddy. Did you have a bit to drink last night?". Paddy says, "I did Jess. I was tanked' pissed. But how'd you know?" "Mick called. You left y'wheelchair at the pub."
A man isn't paying attention when crossing the street
A man isn't paying attention when crossing the street and gets hit by a red lorry, a yellow lorry, then a red lorry, then a yellow lorry.
A policeman is despatched to inform the unfortunate man's family:
"There's no easy way to say this..."
Lucky I didn't get caught...
I was nailing this chick in the park the other weekend. And I was so lucky not to get caught.
Supposedly crucifixions are illegal these days
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