Attractive.
Thứ Ba, 2 tháng 6, 2015
A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer are all found guilty of treason...
and are sentenced to beheading by guillotine.
On the day of the triple execution, they are brought to be beheaded. The priest blesses the execution, saying all is done in God's name, and the King orders the three executed.
The mathematician is to be killed first, and the executioner gives him two options: would he like a hood on or off, and would he like to be face up or face down.
So the mathematician says "Well, they all arrive at the equivalent state of beheading, so it's an arbitrary choice. I suppose I'll take no hood and face down, since it's the simplest solution."
So they lock him into the guillotine, the executioner drops the blade... and it stops inches from his neck.
The priest exclaims "It's a sign from God! This man is innocent! He must be let free!"
The King agrees, pardons the mathematician, and lets him go.
Next up to be killed is the physicist. He is given the same options: hood on or off; face up or face down.
So the physicist thinks, and says "Well, I've spent my whole life looking up at the stars and studying them... but it's broad daylight. I will take the hood to make it dark like night, and face up towards the Heavens."
So they lock him into the guillotine, the executioner drops the blade... and it stops inches from his neck.
The priest exclaims again "It's a sign from God! This man is innocent! He must be let free!"
The King agrees, pardons the physicist, and lets him go.
Finally, it's the engineer's turn to face the guillotine. He's given the same options: hood on or off; face up or down.
The engineer ponders, and says "I've spent my whole life studying machines and mechanical devices. If I am to be killed by the most efficient killing machine of all time, then I will look at its workings while I die! Hood off and face up!"
So they lock him into the guillotine, and the executioner is about to drop the blade, when the engineer exclaims: "I see the problem!"
Ontario Cops Shot And Killed A Black Bear And People Are Very Upset
Police say they’d run out of options.
Despite efforts to keep the bear in the tree, it climbed back down and at that point police say they had no other option than to shoot it.
The Ministry of Natural Resources (MNR) had been called to help capture the bear, but hadn't yet arrived on scene.
“The officers involved and York Regional Police regret the incident but there were no other options,” said Chief Eric Jolliffe in a statement.
“Police officers are not equipped with tranquilizers nor are they trained on the containment of wild animals. We will be following up with the MNR in an attempt to improve the response to such incidents.”
The bear was also not far from an elementary school and police say they were "were left with no choice but to use lethal force in order to preserve public safety."
Global News / Via globalnews.ca
They're also sharing their feelings in the comments on York Regional Police's Facebook page.
Facebook / Via Facebook: OfficialYRP
17 Dogs With Their Best Doggy Friends
BECAUSE DOG BUDDIES ARE THE BEST BUDDIES.
"No one can ever tell us apart, but we like it that way 'cause then we can play more pranks."
"If you couldn't already tell from our smiles, WE'RE HAVING A GREAT TIME TOGETHER."
"Animal Planet went to commercial break which means it's WRESTLE TIME."
"If we team up we're guaranteed to get those treats. Nobody can deny double the cuteness."
Thứ Hai, 1 tháng 6, 2015
The Cabbie
A successful businessman flew to Vegas for the weekend to gamble. He lost the shirt off his back, and had nothing left but a quarter and the second half of his round trip ticket. All he needed to do was somehow get to the airport, and then he'd be home-free. So he went out to the front of the casino where there was a cab waiting. He got in and explained his situation to the cabbie. He promised to send the driver money from home. He offered him his credit card numbers, his drivers license number, his address, etc... The cabbie said, ''If you don't have fifteen dollars, get the hell out of my cab!'' So the businessman was forced to hitchhike to the airport and was barely in time to catch his flight. One year later the businessman, having worked long and hard to regain his financial success, returned to Vegas and this time he won big. Feeling pretty good about himself, he went out to the front of the casino to get a cab ride back to the airport. Well who should he see out there, at the end of a long line of cabs, but his old buddy who had refused to give him a ride when he was down on his luck. The businessman thought for a moment about how he could make the guy pay for his lack of charity, and he hit on a plan. The businessman got in the first cab in the line, ''How much for a ride to the airport,'' he asked? ''Fifteen bucks,'' came the reply. ''And how much for you to give me a blowjob on the way?'' ''What?! Get the hell out of my cab.'' The businessman got into the back of each cab in the long line and asked the same questions, with the same result. When he got to his old friend at the back of the line, he got in and asked, ''How much for a ride to the airport?'' The cabbie replied, ''Fifteen bucks.'' The businessman said, ''OK,'' and off they went. Then, as they drove slowly past the long line of cabs, the businessman gave a big smile and thumbs up sign to each of the other drivers.
Taylor Swift's Pre-Show Dance Routine Will Give You Life
Watch the pop star ~shake off~ her pre-show nerves.
Everybody knows Taylor Swift loves to dance.
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