I looked at her and said "Decepticons". She laughed, i laughed, the toaster laughed, i shot the toaster. It was a good time.
Thứ Ba, 2 tháng 6, 2015
How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just two. One to explain to the public that everything possible is being done to solve the problem, and the other to screw the lightbulb into the water faucet.
Man goes into a bar...
A very thirsty man goes into a bar. As he waits to get the bartender's attention, a regular sitting next to him calls out, "I'll have another waterloo." The bartender gives the regular a tall ice cold drink and asks the newcomer what he would like. The thirsty man points to the man next to him and says, "I guess I'll have what he's having, a waterloo." So the bartender brings the newcomer a tall ice cold drink. The man takes a long deep drink and calls out, "HEY! This isn't any good. It tastes just like water!" The regular bar patron sitting next to him says, "It is water. That's all I drink," He turns to the bartender and says, "Right Lou?"
So I was at the bar the other day...
...and suddenly, I feel a large slap on my ass.
Turning around, I spot the ugliest woman imaginable; she was large, heavily tattooed, and caked with metric tonnes of makeup.
She said to me, "Hey there, guy. I saw you over there and thought you should call me."
I looked her over once again, disgusted, then said, "Do you have a pen?"
She replied "Of course!"
"Well you'd better get back in it before the farmer realizes that you're gone."
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