Thứ Ba, 3 tháng 11, 2015

A piece of string walks into a bar.

Before he sits down the bartender yells “Hey! We don’t serve pieces of string like you!” The piece of string goes outside, ties himself in a bow, and rolls round on the ground for a bit.

Then he gets up, goes back into the bar, and sits down. The bartender says “Aren’t you that piece of string?” The string replies “No. I’m a frayed knot.”

My flatmates said I wasted my money buying a kilo of pasta..

13:53 Jokes No comments

..but I say it was worth every penne.

Where does the midget pizza chef with epilepsy work?

13:30 Jokes No comments

Little seizures

What shakes and sits at the bottom of the ocean?

10:22 Jokes No comments

A nervous wreck.

The Chinese Doctor

09:37 Jokes No comments

A Chinese Doctor can't find a job in a Hospital in the US, so he opens a clinic and puts a sign outside 'GET TREATMENT FOR $20 - IF NOT CURED GET BACK $100.' An American lawyer thinks this is a great opportunity to earn $100 and goes to the clinic. Lawyer: "I have lost my sense of taste." Chinese: "Nurse, bring medicine from box No. 22 and put 3 drops in patient's mouth." Lawyer: "Ugh. this is kerosene." Chinese: "Congrats, your sense of taste is restored. Give me $20." The annoyed lawyer goes back after a few days to recover his money. Lawyer: "I have lost my memory. I cannot remember anything." Chinese: "Nurse, bring medicine from box no. 22 and put 3 drops in his mouth." Lawyer (annoyed): "This is kerosene. You gave this to me last time for restoring my taste." Chinese: "Congrats. You got your memory back. Give me $20." The fuming lawyer pays him, and then comes back a week later determined to get back $100. Lawyer: "My eyesight has become very weak I can't see at all." Chinese: "Well, I don't have any medicine for that, so take this $100." Lawyer (staring at the note): "But this is $20, not $100!!" Chinese: "Congrats, your eyesight is restored. Give me $20" You can't beat Chinese Doctors