You might want to check your pockets ASAP.
Thứ Năm, 3 tháng 12, 2015
A man walks into a bar...
A man walks into a bar with an ostrich under one arm and a cat under the other.
The man orders a pint for himself and one for the ostrich.
The cat says "Don't think for a moment I'm paying for this!".
The bartender looks puzzled but diligently pours two pints.
The man downs his pint "That hit the spot". The ostrich dips his beak into his pint a drinks it all up.
The man proceeds to order two more pints.
The cat, becoming more irate, says "Look, I've told you once - don't expect me to pay for this!"
The bartender is becoming a little concerned but pours away. Again, short work is made of both pints.
The man orders a third round. The cat is now apoplectic "That's it pal - I AM NOT PAYING FOR YOUR DRINKS!"
The bartender can't contain his concern now and asks "Hey chap, what's the deal? You come in here with an ostrich under one arm, a cat under the other, ordering drinks that your cat is clearly unwilling to pay for - what's going on?"
The man replies "Well, it's a funny story - I was driving home after work and spotted a gorgeous young women pulled over onto the side of the road, struggling with the spare wheel. I stopped to help. When I'd changed the wheel, the young lady said she was a genie and could grant me one wish..."
"So, what you did you ask for?"
"A bird with long legs and tight pussy".
15 Things You For Sure Never Noticed About Owning A Cat
You’ve gotta be kitten me!
They legitimately have no clue what babies are or what purpose they serve.
"Why is this naked cat here now??!"
Cats can, and will, ignore you in order to sleep.
That whole time you thought they were listening to your problems? Napping.
Sometimes, they turn back into their original box form.
They find comfort in the solace of their baked brethren's home.
This Little Animal Really Gets Into The Holiday Spirit
Surprise, it’s adorable.
These weensy little pine tree-lookin' things are called Christmas Tree Worms.
Yeah, they're worms. But that doesn't even matter because they're friggin' adorable.
These colorful fellows live on corals, and the Christmas-tree-like parts that you see are only a small part of their bodies. The rest is burrowed into the coral, and the lil' worm will retract itself into this burrow if it senses any outside danger. They're sedentary, so they won't move from their little burrowing spot once they've established it!
See? THEY ARE MINI CHRISTMAS TREES. IT'S CUTE.
LOOK, IT'S LIKE A TINY FESTIVE FOREST.
Thứ Tư, 2 tháng 12, 2015
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