Funny Story

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Thứ Sáu, 4 tháng 12, 2015

My friend entered a poetry related pun contest.

He stanza good chance.

How does a lawyer sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.

Credit: Nicholas Sparks from his book 'See Me' which I am reading now.

Should You Be Allowed To Have A Dog?

Can you prove yourself as someone capable of keeping something alive?

Your mum says that you can have a dog.

Your mum says that you can have a dog.

reddit.com

But only if you can prove yourself as a responsible person first by keeping a plant alive.

But only if you can prove yourself as a responsible person first by keeping a plant alive.

"Not yet, human."

reddit.com

To show your mum how responsible you are, keep this plant alive by answering all the questions correctly.

To show your mum how responsible you are, keep this plant alive by answering all the questions correctly.

Thinkstock


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This pig with the wooden leg . . .

A guy visits his friend, who is a farmer, and sees him sitting on the front porch, chewing a strand of wheat and petting a pig with a wooden leg. They get to talking, and the friend asks the farmer about the pig's leg. 'it's the craziest thing', say the farmer. 'There was this fire a few weeks back, in the old barn next to the house. I was lost in the smoke, searching for a way out, when the central support beam collapsed, pinning me down. I was going to die. BUT SUDDENLY, through the thick haze, I see this pig rushing toward me. She manages to wedge her body under the beam, and with all her might lifts the load just enough for me to shimmy my body out, and we both run to safety.' 'WOW, that is some incredible story,' says the friend 'but it still doesn't explain the wooden leg.' --'Well, with a pig like THAT, you don't want to eat it all at once!'

Why is "Dick" short for Richard?

Genetics.

A man saw a lady with big breasts. He asked, "Excuse me, can I bite your breasts for $1000?" She agrees, so they go to a secluded corner. She opens her blouse.

A man saw a lady with big breasts. He asked, "Excuse me, can I bite your breasts for $1000?" She agrees, so they go to a secluded corner. She opens her blouse and the man puts his face in her breasts for 10 minutes." Eventually the lady asks, "Aren't you gonna bite them?" He replies, "No, it's too expensive."

Why do midgets make bad parents?

Cause they struggle to put food on the table