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Thứ Hai, 7 tháng 12, 2015
A long time ago in a faraway kingdom the queen was a huge slut.
One day the king had to go for a year long expedition, and knew his queen was going to have sex with everyone through the county, so he turned to his court magistrate for help.
The court magistrate showed the king a pair of metal panties, with a hole in the middle.
"Why, doesn't that just defeat the whole purpose?" asked the King, and the magistrate promptly picked a pencil off his desk and inserted it into the hole.
"SNAP!", the pencil had cleanly sliced into two! "Anything that enters the hole will be sliced off, sire", said the magistrate. Thoroughly impressed, the King instructed the Queen to wear it for the entire year and left for his expedition. Upon his return, the King called for a meeting of all his country folk.
They were all instructed to drop their pants, and the King made his rounds noticing that many were missing fingers as well as their most vital part.
Then, he saw the quiet knight Sir Xavier, fingers and all still intact. "Xavier, the one and only true knight! Only you among all the nobles have been true to me. What is it in my power to grant you? Name it and it is yours!"
But alas, Sir Xavier was speechless.
Two atoms walk into a bar.
The first one turns to the other and says "I think I've lost an electron!"
The second one goes "Are you sure?"
To which the first one replies "I'm positive."
This Corgi And Baby Are Best Friends And It's Ridiculously Cute
Brb dying.
WARNING: What you are about to look at is so PAINFULLY cute it's actually unfair and problematic. This post it not for those who are triggered by babies and cute animals. This post is not for those with heart conditions (you'll die).
Monkey Business Images Ltd / Getty Images
YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
Monkey Business Images Ltd / Getty Images
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