Eye carumba!
Thứ Ba, 1 tháng 3, 2016
Bill Clinton was walking along the beach when he stumbledupon a Genie's lamp.
He picked it up and rubbed it and lo-and-behold, a Genie appeared. Bill was amazed and asked if he got three wishes.
The Genie said, "Nope...Due to inflation, constant downswing, low wages in third world countries, and fierce global competition, I can only grant you one wish. So...What'll it be?"
Bill didn't hesitate. He said, "I want to bring peace to the Middle East, See this map?" Bill pulls out a sweat covered map. "These people have been at war for thousands of years. I want these countries to stop fighting with each other."
The Genie looked at the map of the Middle East and exclaimed, "I'm good, but not THAT good. I don't think it can be done. Make another wish."
Bill thought for a minute and said, "You know, people really don't like my wife. They call her a carpetbagger. They think she's mean, ugly, and pushes me around. I wish for her to be the most beautiful woman in the world and I want everybody to like her and for her to be elected President of the United States of America. That's what I want."
The Genie let out a long sigh and said, "Lemme see that map again."
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I got pulled over by a cop
He came to the window and told me I was swerving. He then announced that I was drunk, and proceeded to give me a breathalyzer. I told him: "I can't I have dyspnea" (Trouble Breathing) He then told me to take a urine test. I told him: "I cant, I have a failing liver" He then continues to ask that I take a blood test. I tell him: "I can't I'm a Hemophiliac" (Trouble clotting blood) Lastly he says that I attempt to walk in a straight line. I then tell him: "I cant, I'm fucking drunk"
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And regal beyond what any humans can convey.
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