... love Roman numerals.
Thứ Sáu, 1 tháng 4, 2016
A redneck's father passed away in his sleep
So in the morning, he calls 911 to come pick up the body.
The 911 operator told him that she would send someone out right away.
"Where do you live?" asked the operator.
He replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive."
The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me?
There was a long pause and finally he said, "How 'bout if I drag him over to Oak Street and you pick him up there?"
So this guy loses all his money in Vegas...
...& doesn't have cab fare to airport. He hails taxi anyway, explains situation & promises to send fare from home. He offers credit card #'s, drivers license #, his address, etc...
Cabbie: ''If you don't have 15 bucks, get the hell out of my cab loser!'' He ends up walking 5 miles to the airport & barely catches his flight.
A year later he returns to LV & this time wins big. Feeling great, he goes to the front of the casino to get a cab to the airport, & who does he see but the cabbie who refused to give him a ride when down on his luck. He thinks for a moment & hits on a plan. He gets into the first cab in the line: ''How much for a ride to the airport?" ''15 bucks." 'And how much if you give me a bj on the way?'' ''What?! Get the hell out of my cab ya freak.'' He proceeds to go down the long line of cabs, asking the same question, with the same result. When he got to his old friend at the back of the line, he asks: ''How much for a ride to the airport?'' ''15 bucks.'' ''OK,'' as he jumps into front seat w/ a big smile & thumbs up for the other cabbies.
Give a man a jacket
and he can leave the house during Winter.
Teach a man to jack it and he'll never leave the house.
A Real Gut-Buster
A woman noticed her husband standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. “Ha! That’s not going to help,” she said.
“Sure, it does,” he said. “It’s the only way I can see the numbers.”
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