Sometimes I get the punchline :(
Thứ Ba, 5 tháng 4, 2016
Thứ Hai, 4 tháng 4, 2016
My 5 year olds painful twist on a knock knock joke
I was telling my son the "knock knock who's there banana
joke", and he laughed and told me to tell it to him again. As
I said knock knock he then backhanded my face and said "you
shouldn't stand so close to the door"
So my friend had some issue with his hearing....
My friend was having some issues with his hearing, so he booked a doctor's appointment. The doctor checked him over and had a look in his ears. The doctor said "okay. So, describe the symptoms". My friend said "well, there's homer. He's the dad. And there's Marge, she's got big blue hair..."
Jesus on the cross..
After a brutal and tough day carrying the cross up Golgatha, the Romans nailed Jesus with no remorse to the heavy wooden structure. Golgatha was a grand hill, and as the cross was raised Jesus looked down upon all those gathered before him.
He saw his wonderful mother Mary. He saw gods children. He saw Jerusalem in all its glory.
But his eyes finally fell on his good friend and disciple Peter.
"Peteeer", he called through painful breaths, "Peeteerr".
Peter, the must loyal of all Jesus's follows, jumped in shock. He began to run toward Jesus.
"Yes my lord?", Peter replied.
But as soon as he began to get close the Romans roared "NO!", and viciously chopped off poor Peters Legs.
Peter, wallowing in pain, heard his messiah call him again, "Peeetteeer...peeter", growing more faint with each call.
So once again Peter tried, crawling with his arms...pulling as hard as he could.
Suddenly, more sharp Roman swords fell upon him. They took his arms this time, leaving him limbless. But as he lay there, face down in the mud, Peter heard the Son of God once more, "Peeteer".
So Peter rolled this time with all his might, reaching the bottom of the cross. "Yes my lord, Yes, Yes", he screamed with anticipation, "how can I serve you?"
And in his fading breaths, whimpering and quiet, Jesus replied
"Peeter...Peter...I..I can see your house from here!".
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