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Thứ Sáu, 8 tháng 4, 2016

The 'Rogue One' Trailer You Are Looking For


The 'Rogue One' Trailer You Are Looking For
The teaser trailer for the next "Star Wars" flick​ dropped this morning, and boy does it look dark.

April 7, 2016 at 08:32PM
via Digg http://ift.tt/1YgxAxV

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Deja.

Deja who?

Knock, knock.

A man is meeting his girlfriend's parents for the first time.

A man is meeting his girlfriend's parents for the first time. He doesn't have a car, so he decides to get a bike so he doesn't look like a complete loser.

At the bike shop, the owner holds up some Vaseline and says, "if it ever rains, make sure you put this on the bike to protect it".

The man leaves with his bike and the Vaseline in his pocket. He arrives at the house for dinner.

His girlfriend meets him at the door and says, "hey, so we have a rule here. The first person to talk during dinner has to do the dishes."

The man shrugs it off and walks inside. Upon walking in, he's shocked to see hundreds of dishes stacked all over the house, going up the stairs and overflowing the closets.

"I'm not doing these fucking dishes" he thinks to himself.

He walks into the kitchen and sits down. The parents smile at him silently.

Time passes, and they are halfway through dinner. The man is getting nervous, and he wants to make sure he isn't the first to talk.

He looks at his girlfriend and decides to fuck her right there on the table.

He finishes, but no one says a word. He sits down disappointed.

Looking at his girlfriend's mother, he decides she's good looking enough to fuck too. He takes her on the table as well. He finishes again, and still, no one says a word.

He sits at the table with a crying girlfriend, her shocked mother, and her livid father.

Frustrated, the man starts eating his dinner again when he hears thunder off in the distance.

Remembering the bike outside, he pulls out the Vaseline from his pocket.

The father stands up and says, "alright, I'll do the fucking dishes".

Why was the feminist picnic cancelled?

because nobody made sandwiches

Two biologists get married and have twin girls.

They name one Jessica and the other Control.

My daughter has gotten to the age where she asks me embarrassing questions about sex

Just this morning she asked me

"Is that the best you can do?"

My pubic hair trimming business will limit itself to female customers for the first few months.

I'm new to this, so I don't want to go nuts right away.