My doctor told me I had the airport flu.

He says it's terminal.

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Why can't a bicycle stand up by itself?

Because it's two-tired.

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I'm kinda scrawny, so I had to quit my job as a personal trainer

Yeah, I gave 'em my too weak notice

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[Dirty] What is the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew?

Harry escaped the chamber.

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What do you call an Irishman who's had eight beers?

The designated driver.

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I Drank a Gallon of Water a Day for 30 Days. Here's What Happened.

I Drank a Gallon of Water a Day for 30 Days. Here's What Happened.
When I agreed to drink a gallon of water a day, every day, for a month, I expected positive results: better skin, more energy, a girthier penis (I mean, maybe?) And I got some of those things, which is tight. But it was also way, way, way more cumbersome than I ever could have imagined.

April 6, 2016 at 11:26PM
via Digg http://ift.tt/1quoF1n

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Did you hear about the dyslexic, homosexual rooster?

Dude'll do a cock!

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