How the hell am I supposed to know if it's raining in Sweden?
Thứ Ba, 12 tháng 4, 2016
A computer science student...
...was writing a note to his crush before lecture. The student next to him grabbed the note.
The first student tried to grab it back. “You can’t see that, it’s private!”
The second student protested, “But we’re in the same class”
Thứ Hai, 11 tháng 4, 2016
A woman is in the hospital in a coma...
and the husband is in the waiting room. The doctor comes out and tells the husband every time he gets near her crotch, her heart rate increases, and tells the husband he believes oral sex will bring her out of the coma.
The husband enters the room and shortly after the doctor hears a flatline and rushes into the room asking what happened and the husband replies i dont know doc i think she choked.
Going to the prom
A boy asks the crush of his dreams out to prom, and she said yes! So he plans out a list of to-do before the big dance.
First he goes to rent a tux, but there is a long tux line at the shop, he waits for 20 minutes.
Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there’s a huge flower line there. He waits even longer but eventually gets the flowers. Next he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there’s a large limo line at the rental office, but he’s patient and gets a very nice limo.
Lastly he goes to the barber and once again there is a long line but as he sits and waits he is just dreaming how his date will look, and within no time he gets his hair cut.
Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there’s no punchline.
A man take his dog to the vet, and then...
A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and asks, "my dog's cross-eyed... is there anything you can do for him?"
"Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him" So, he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then teeth.
Finally, he says "I'm going to have to put him down."
"Why? Because he's cross-eyed?"
"No, because he's really heavy."
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