They're always coming in a little behind.
Chủ Nhật, 1 tháng 5, 2016
10 Catholic priest all die in a bus accident
When they arrive at the pearly gates, St Peter Acknowledges them. He sees that they're all priests and immediately says "If any of you a paedophiles, there's no point waiting here. You might as well fuck off straight to hell right now!".
9 of the priests turn around and begin to walk away.
St Peter calls after them. "AND TAKE THE DEAF BASTARD WITH YOU TOO!"
There were three young priests...
about to take their final vows.The last test they had to pass was a celibacy test. For this, all three had to strip naked and tie a little bell around their penis. A belly dancer entered the room, and started slinking around the first priest. 'Ting-a-ling!'
The chief priest said 'Oh Patrick, I'm disappointed, you've failed. Go and have a shower.'
The belly dancer had stripped as far as her last veil for the second guy when the chief heard 'Ting-a-ling!'
'Joseph, I'm very disappointed. You can't resist the temptation of a woman. Go for a shower,' said the chief priest.
The belly dancer started dancing totally naked around the last priest. She did everything erotic she could think of but no bell rang!
'John, I'm delighted. You've passed! You can resist the temptation of women. Now, go relax and take a shower with Patrick and Joseph.'
'Ting-a-ling!'
Two men went to the barbers for a shave......
They were both almost done when the barber reached for the aftershave when the first man said “Don't put that shit on me‚ my wife will think I've been in a whore house.”
The other man then turned to his barber and said “ you can put it on me ‚ my wife doesn't know what the inside of a whore house smells like.”
Edit-words
My 93 year old grandfather FTW
We were at a family gathering and out of nowhere my 93 year old grandfather announces ''Well, now I have to sit down now when I pee..." All conversation grinds to a halt and everyone looks at him. "My doctor told me no more heavy lifting."
Little Johnny is walking down the street and sees a construction site building new houses
He has a look at what's going on and he's amazed and in awe of it all. He rushes home as fast as he can. He runs in and shouts ''Dad, dad, can we play builders?'' His dad says ''Sure Johnny''
Johnny runs to the top of the stairs and shouts ''Oi, get them bricks up here now you cunt''
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