What is the worst time to have a heart attack?

During a game of charades

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Civil War spoilers

Lee surrenders at Appomatox Courthouse, Abe Lincoln is shot by John Wilkes Booth.

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The reason why I only date black girls

is because I don't like meeting dads.

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I swallowed some food coloring. My doctor says I'm OK

But I feel like I've dyed a little inside

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Who won the first Tour de France?

The 7th German Panzer division

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A man comes into his bedroom and sees his wife with his best friend in bed....

The man quickly takes out his gun and shoots his best friend, killing him. The wife shouts - "If you continue with that attitude you are going to end up with no friends!"

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What's long, hard, and has cum in it?

Cucumber you nasty bastard

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