I was having sex with this girl, and she said some other guy's name. I was pissed.

Who the fuck is Rape?

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How many seconds are there in one year?

12 of them: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd, May 2nd, June 2nd, July 2nd, August 2nd, September 2nd, October 2nd, November 2nd, December 2nd.

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Two condoms walk past a gay bar

one turns to the other and says "hey, wanna go in there and get shitfaced"?

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If Al Gore had a band, it'd be called...

The Algorithms.

I'm sooooooooooo sorry for this. :(

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How do two psychiatrists greet each other?

"You are fine, how am I?"

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My old guitar teacher was arrested yesterday...

He got caught fingering A Minor.

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People in wheelchairs just don't get humor.

They never know when you're pulling their leg.

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