He's so egotestical.
Chủ Nhật, 15 tháng 5, 2016
A boy is at school
and he hears the older kids talking about pussy, and their bitch. The boy confused by this goes to his mother.
"Mom", the boy asks, "What's a pussy?"
The mother being startled by this thinks quick and finds the closest dictionary and opens it up to a picture of a cat and says "Son, that is a pussy."
The son then asks "What's a bitch?"
The mother again thinking quickly opens to a picture of a dog and says, "Son, this is a bitch."
The son walks away still confused, and sees his father watching television. The son walks up to his father and says "Dad, what's a pussy?"
The father doesn't want to miss the baseball game so he quickly whips out his Penthouse magazine to the centerfold, grabs a marker and draws a circle around the vagina and says "Son, this is a pussy." The son, now starting to understand what the older boys are talking about asks "Then, what is a bitch?"
The dad replies, "That's everything outside the circle."
Thứ Bảy, 14 tháng 5, 2016
A black guy and a white girl are at a party
A black guy and a white girl are at a party. After a while they go together to a room, and she asks excited: "Show me if what they say about black men is true". He grabs her purse and runs
An amish girl and her mom are riding home in a horse drawn carriage
Daughter: "Mom, my hands are so cold."
Mother: "Stick your hands between your legs and your body heat will keep them warm."
So the daughter does this and she is amazed how warm her hands got. So the next night she is with her boyfriend running errands:
Boyfriend: "Wow, it is cold out, my hands are so cold."
Daughter: "Stick your hands between my legs and my body heat will keep them warm."
So the boyfriend does this, then later on in the night:
Boyfriend: "It is so cold, now my nose is really cold!"
Daughter: "Stick your nose between my legs and my body heat will keep it warm."
The next morning the daughter wakes up and goes to her mother:
Daughter: "Mother, what is a penis?"
Mother: "Why are you asking such a thing for? Should i be concerned?"
Daughter: "Oh, no worries, I was just wondering. My boyfriend said last night it was cold so i told him to stick it between my legs to make it warm and wow does it make one hell of a mess when it defrosts!"
There was a man who had three girlfriends
There was a man who had three girlfriends, but he did not know which one to marry. So he decided to give each one $5000 and see how each of them spent it. The first one went out and got a total makeover with the money. She got new clothes, a new hairdo, manicure, pedicure, the works, and tells the man, "I spent the money so I could look pretty for you because I love you so much." The second one went out and bought new golf clubs, a CD player, a television, and a stereo and gave them to the man. She said, "I bought these gifts for you with the money because I love you so much." The third one takes the $5000 and invests it in the stock market, doubles her investment, returns the $5000 to the man and reinvests the rest. She says, "I am investing the rest of the money for our future because I love you so much." The man thought long and hard about how each of the women spent the money. Finally, being the mere man he was, he decided to marry the one with the biggest breasts.
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