whats the difference between Congress and a condom?

You can only fit one dick in a condom.

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What's Hitler's favorite video game?

Mein Kraft.

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Why are redneck murders so hard to solve?

There's no dental records and all the DNA matches

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How many Redditors does it take to change a light bulb?

1000 One to change it and 999 to walk into the same room and change the same light bulb without checking to see if it needed changing first.

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A guy who is a virgin gets married

On the honeymoon the guy walks into his hotel room and his wife is naked on the bed. She asks the man, "Do you know what I want?" The man says "I dont know." The woman spreads her legs and then asks the same question again. The guy says, "You want the whole fucking bed to yourself. Don't you?"

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I only believe in 12.5% of everything the Bible says.

Which makes me an eighth theist.

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What word starts with M and ends in arraige and is a man's favourite thing?

Miscarriage.

This joke never gets old, just like the baby.

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