9/11 Threesome.

When twins go down on you.

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A priest is taking a cab home from church

A priest is taking a cab home from church after a long day of services. It's night and it's raining heavily. Suddenly the taxi hits a pothole. The driver mutters under his breath "Fuck!" Seconds later, they hit another pothole and the driver says "Shit!" The priest has finally had enough,

"Son, don't use these words, they anger our Good Lord. Say for instance, 'Lord help us'"

The cabbie reluctantly agrees. As they drive on, they hit a really big pothole and the entire wheel falls off! The cabbie remembering the priest's words says "Lord help us!" Suddenly, the wheel stops, rolls back, and snaps back on!

"What the fuck?" said the priest.

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My 5 y/o cousins joke :)

Him:Why did the chicken cross the road? Me: Why? Him: To get to the stupid persons house. Me: voluntary laugh as older cousin Him: Knock knock.

Me: Who's there?

Him: It's the chicken!

I fell right into the little tackers trap!

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I asked a Scottish friend of mine how many sexual partners he'd had.

He started counting but fell asleep.

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I read somewhere that only 2/11 jokes are funny.

Well, what I read was that 9/11 jokes are never funny, but I like to be positive.

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Why do dentists only want to be awarded with paper certificates?

They hate plaque buildup.

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To Secure the Border, We Must Destroy It

To Secure the Border, We Must Destroy It
In which a card-carrying member of the East Coast cultural elite travels the length of the border in search of Donald Trump's America — and learns to stop worrying and love the Wall.

June 1, 2016 at 12:51AM
via Digg http://ift.tt/1ZaKQoz

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