An obese man was walking down a street one day

when he noticed a sign in the window of a building. Lose 5 lbs guaranteed or your money back! Curious he walked in and asked about the offer. "It's quite simple. Go into the room on the left and remove all your clothes." said the receptionist. Unable to contain his curiosity the man entered the room and removed his clothes. Across the room entered the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. "If you catch me you can fuck me" she said. The man began chasing her around and around the room but was unable to catch her. Huffing and puffing he weighed...

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Why did princess Diana cross the road?

She wasn't wearing her seatbelt....

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Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day...

Give him a religion and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish....

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A joke to tell your friends in-person

So, like the title says, this joke only works if you're telling it to your friend in real life! Make sure it's someone you're somewhat close with, though. So a guy walks into a three-story building. That's very important to the story, so you gotta remember it. How many stories does it have? Wait until your friend replies it's three stories Now, this guy's a real asshole and thinks he can do everything right, and anyone who doesn't do it his way is wrong. So he goes into the first story, and he sees a guy walking on stilts. He says, "That's not...

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What's is the difference between ignorance and negligence?

I don't know and I don't care....

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A little old lady...

A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a $20 fell out onto the sidewalk. Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, "Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag." "Oh, really? Darn it!" said the little old lady. "I'd better go back and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me officer. "Well, now, not so fast," said the cop.“Where did you get all that money? You didn't steal it, did you?" "Oh, no, no", said the old...

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The Perks Are Great. Just Don’t Ask Us What We Do. — Backchannel

The Perks Are Great. Just Don’t Ask Us What We Do. — Backchannel 50onRed is a fixture in Philly’s tech scene. But there’s something the leadership didn’t talk about, even with some of its own staff. June 1, 2016 at 10:31PM via Digg http://ift.tt/1TXQo...

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