The iTit is considered a major social break through since women have always complained that men stare at their breasts but never listen to them.
Thứ Sáu, 3 tháng 6, 2016
What's the difference between a hooker, your girlfriend, and your wife?
When you're having sex a hooker says "are you done yet?" Your girlfriend says "you're done already?" And your wife says "beige, we should definitely paint the ceiling beige."
A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie.
He decides to test it out at dinner one night. The father asks his son what he did that afternoon.
The son says, "I did some schoolwork."
The robot slaps the son.
The son says, "Ok, Ok. I was at a friend's house watching movies."
Dad asks, "What movie did you watch?"
Son says, "Toy Story."
The robot slaps the son.
Son says, "Ok, Ok, we were watching porn."
Dad says, "What? At your age I didn't even know what porn was."
The robot slaps the father.
Mom laughs and says, "Well, he certainly is your son."
The robot slaps the mother.
Robot for sale.
A man was cleaning out the basement of the house his grandfather left him...
...when he came across an old metal oil lamp. The man starts wiping it off with his shirt when two genies emerge from the lamp.
"Holy shit!" the guy exclaims.
"We are the genies of the lamp. We have been stuck inside that lamp for decades, and you have freed us. We will grant you three wishes!" the first genie proclaims.
The man thinks. "OK, first I want ten million dollars in my bank account, and I want it legal! No crimes or anything."
The second genie claps his hands. "IT IS DONE!" He looks at the man. "Your second wish?"
"I want my garage and driveway to be full of expensive cars. Nothing worth less than $500,000!" the man says.
"Done!" says the first genie, clapping his hands together. "And for your final wish?"
The man turns red. "Listen, uh...this is going to be a bit embarrassing so can I just whisper it to you?" he asks the second genie.
"Of course," the second genie replies.
The man leans over and whispers his final wish to the second genie. The second genie motions for the other genie to follow him and they both walk out of the basement.
A minute later, a group of men in white robes bursts into the basement and grabs the man who had made the wishes. The man struggled against them, but the men tied him up, tied a rope around his neck, and pulled him up by the rafters until he was dead.
After a few minutes, two of the robed men remove their hoods and look at each other. It's the two genies. "I can understand the wish for the money and the wish for luxury cars," the second genie said, "but why the fuck did he want to be hung like a black man?"
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