Is Particle Physics About to Crack Wide Open?
Hints of an unexpected new particle could be confirmed within days — and if it is, the Standard Model could be going down.
June 13, 2016 at 08:34PM
via Digg http://ift.tt/1sBObTs
Thứ Ba, 14 tháng 6, 2016
Is Particle Physics About to Crack Wide Open?
Is Particle Physics About to Crack Wide Open?
Hints of an unexpected new particle could be confirmed within days — and if it is, the Standard Model could be going down.
June 13, 2016 at 08:34PM
via Digg http://ift.tt/1sBObTs
Three men, a philosopher, a mathematician and an idiot...
were out riding in the car when it crashed into a tree. Before anyone knows it, the three men found themselves standing before the pearly gates of Heaven, where St. Peter and the Devil were standing nearby. "Gentlemen," the Devil started, "Due to the fact that Heaven is now overcrowded, St. Peter has agreed to limit the number of people entering Heaven. If anyone of you can ask me a question which I don't know or cannot answer, then you're worthy enough to go to Heaven; if not, then you'll come with me to Hell."
The philosopher then stepped up, "OK, give me the most comprehensive report on Socrates' teachings." With a snap of his finger, a stack of paper appeared next to the Devil. The philosopher read it and concluded it was correct. "Then, go to Hell!" With another snap of his finger, the philosopher disappeared.
The mathematician then asked, "Give me the most complicated formula ever theorized!" With a snap of his finger, another stack of paper appeared next to the Devil. The mathematician read it and reluctantly agreed it was correct. "Then, go to Hell!" With another snap of his finger, the mathematician disappeared too.
The idiot then stepped forward and said, "Bring me a chair!" The Devil brought forward a chair. "Drill 7 holes on the seat." The Devil did just that. The idiot then sat on the chair and let out a very loud fart. Standing up, he asked, "Which hole did my fart come out from?" The Devil inspected the seat and said,"The third hole from the right." "Wrong," said the idiot, "it's from my asshole." And the idiot went to heaven.
Failed my biology test today
They asked, "What is commonly found in cells?" Apparently "black people" wasn't the correct answer.
A doctor, a priest and an engineer go golfing...
After only a few rounds, they get caught behind the worst group of golfers they've ever seen. After growing impatient from waiting for them to finish their holes, they go into the clubhouse to complain.
"Let me explain," says the manager. "You see, those men all used to be firefighters, some of the best our city has ever seen. There was a fire here at the clubhouse about five years ago. Those heroic men saved our clubhouse from the fire. However, most unfortunately, they all lost their sight in the terrible fire. Since then, they are welcome to use our facilities for life; it's the very least we could do."
The priest, looks forlorn and says, "I'm so sorry to hear it! I will hold a prayer service this Sunday dedicated to these men."
The doctor says, "what an awful thing! I know a highly-regarded optometrist who has done some research that might be able to help them, I'll arrange for them to meet as soon as I can!"
The engineer thinks for a moment and says, "why can't they golf at night?"
A woman went to a grocery store..
She gets a shopping cart and went to buy the stuff she needs. First, she bought a tray of eggs. Next, 3 bottles of milk. And last, lettuce.
Now that she's done, she went to the cashier and puts her groceries on the conveyer belt. The clerk, noticed the stuff she bought. He noticed the tray of eggs, the bottles of milk, and the lettuce. The clerk told the woman, "You must be single." And the woman, was so shocked and surprised on what the clerk said, "Yes, I am single! How do you know?" asked the woman with a shocked expression. And the clerk responded, "Because you're ugly."
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