They said "orange is the new black"...

...but I didn't realise they meant Trump would replace Obama.

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot..

A carrot

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What's the difference between a good joke and

A bad joke timing

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I've been taking Viagra for my sunburn

Doesnt cure it, but it keeps the sheets off my legs at night

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What do you call someone who's representing a bike shop?

A spokesperson.

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I fucked this retarded chick last night

I wanted my first time to be special

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A bear goes into a bar

he sits down and immediately mauls to death and devours the woman on the stool next to him. he then calmly orders a beer bartender: "sorry, we don't serve drug users in here" bear: "but I don't do drugs" bartender: "what about that barbitchyouate"

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