I want to see which one comes first.
Thứ Hai, 20 tháng 6, 2016
There was a prison break
and I saw a midget climb up the fence. As he jumped down he sneered at me and I thought, well that’s a little condescending.
Chủ Nhật, 19 tháng 6, 2016
A kindergarten teacher asked her students to talk about what they did during the recent school holidays.
She asked them to use "grown-up words" as opposed to baby language.
The first little one said he went to see his "nana." The teacher said, "No! You went to see your 'grandmother.' Use grown-up words."
The next little one said she went for a trip on a "choo choo." The teacher said again, "No! You went on a 'train.' That's the grown-up word."
Then the teacher asked the third little one what he had done during the recent school holidays. He proudly stated that he head read a book. The teacher asked what book he had read. He puffed up his chest and in a very adult way replied, "WINNIE THE SHIT!"
I -a dad- just subjected my daughter, 21, to my clever wit
She wasn't sure whether or not to take a foam mattress with her to her summer camp job.
"Sleep on it," I said.
Getting Married in Heaven
On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple is involved in a fatal car accident. The couple find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they begin to wonder: Could they possibly get married in Heaven? When St. Peter showed up, they asked him. St. Peter said, 'I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out,' and he leaves. The couple sat and waited, and waited. Two months passed and the couple are still waiting. While waiting, they began to wonder what would happen if it didn't work out; could you get a divorce in heaven. After yet another month, St. Peter finally returns, looking somewhat bedraggled. 'Yes,' he informs the couple, 'you can get married in Heaven.' 'Great!' said the couple, 'But we were just wondering, what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?' St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard onto the ground. 'What's wrong?' asked the frightened couple. 'OH, COME ON!', St. Peter shouted, 'It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it'll take me to find a lawyer ?
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