and loses his title
Thứ Năm, 23 tháng 6, 2016
The young bride approached her awaiting husband on their wedding night and demanded $20 for their first love-making encounter...
The young bride approached her awaiting husband on their wedding night and demanded $20 for their first love-making encounter.
In his highly aroused state, he readily agreed.
This scenario was repeated each time they made love for the next 30 years, him thinking it was a cute way for her to buy new clothes, etc.
Arriving home around noon one day, she found her husband in a very drunken state.
Over the next few minutes she heard of the ravages of financial ruin caused by corporate down sizing and it's effects on a 50 year old executive.
Calmly, she handed him a bank book showing deposits and interest for 12 years totaling nearly $1 million dollars.
Pointing across the parking lot she gestured toward the local bank while handing him stock certificates worth nearly $2 million dollars and informing him that he was the largest stockholder in the bank.
She told him that for 30 years she had charged him each time they had sex, and this was the result of her investments.
By now he was distraught and beating his head against the side of the car.
She asked him why the disappointment at such good news and he replied, "If I had known what you were doing, I would have given you all of my business!"
[NSFW] Monkey who does great sex
A young sexy woman passing by a pet shop saw a board - "Monkey who does great sex". She went in, bought that monkey & walked away with the Instruction Manual. The Manual said "Give a good bath to the monkey, then you take a bath. Make him sit on the bed and you lie down without wearing anything. Leave the rest to the monkey. Repeat all steps for repeat performance". Accordingly, the woman gave the monkey a bath, bathed herself and slept on the bed naked. Monkey did nothing. Disappointed, she again gave him a bath, had bath and lied down naked on the bed. Again, the monkey did nothing. She referred the Manual to check for forward path. It said : In case of no activity, call the shop owner for support. She called the owner & he arrived in 10 minutes. He asked the woman to lie down. He then looked at the monkey and shouted... "This is the last time I'm teaching you..!"
NSFW: My wife said she wanted to have sex like they do in the movies...
So I pushed her against the wall, grabbed her hair from behind and drilled her up the shitter. Turns out we watch different movies.
A husband leaves his money in the attic...
His wife gets curious one day and asks why he leaves his money in the attic.
The husband replies, " So I can use it to pay rent in heaven."
A few years later the husband dies and the wife goes upstairs to see if the money is gone, and sure enough the money is still where he left it. The wife says to herself, " I knew he should have put it in the basement."
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