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Go to Blogger edit html and find these sentences.Now replace these sentences with your own descriptions.

Thứ Sáu, 24 tháng 6, 2016

Working at the aluminum can recycling center is the saddest job I've had.

It's just soda pressing.

Big vote today in England. If Leave wins I predict :

Brexit to be followed by Grexit. Departugal. Italeave. Fruckoff. Czechout. Oustria. Finish. Slovakout. Latervia. Byegium

Girl: "My first time having sex was a lot like the 100 metre dash..."

Boy: "What, over in ten seconds?"

Girl: "No, eight black men and a gun."

Chaos Breaks Out As Speaker Paul Ryan Attempts To Reconvene The House During Democrats' Sit-In


Chaos Breaks Out As Speaker Paul Ryan Attempts To Reconvene The House During Democrats' Sit-In
Late Wednesday, House Speaker Paul Ryan attempted to reconvene the House of Representatives, where Democrats are staging a sit-in protest to force a vote on gun control legislation. It did not go well.

June 23, 2016 at 08:27PM
via Digg http://ift.tt/28R08zD

For every upvote this gets, my girlfriend and I will try one thrust of anal sex.

Please don't upvote. Her strap-on is huge.

I once dated a girl with a lazy eye,

It was going well for a few months until I realized she was seeing someone else.

A politician passes away and arrives at the Pearly Gates

St. Peter greets him. "Nice to meet you! You should know we give you the choice of whether you want to spend eternity in heaven or in hell." "How do I know which one to pick?" the politician replies. "We let you spend a day in each, and then you may decide." The politician agrees and is sent to the heavenly realm first.

The experience is okay. He mostly sits around on the clouds singing and playing the harp, and exchanging some pleasant conversation with the angels. He goes back to Peter the next day, and is sent to hell this time.

The elevator arrives at the bottom, and the doors open. He is in a beautiful garden, it's sunny, and there is a nearby golf course. A bar in the pristine looking garden keeps the drinks flowing: beer, cocktails, wine, whiskey, whatever the heart could imagine. There is also a buffet. All his friends and family that have passed away are there, and they greet him cheerfully. Even Satan is there, and he ends up being a really nice and cool guy who assists the politician in whatever he can. After chatting with them for awhile, the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen comes to him, and they end up having the best sex he has ever experienced.

At the end of the day, the politician goes back to St. Peter. "I hope you enjoyed the tryouts sir. What do you choose, heaven or hell?" The politician replies "well Peter to be honest heaven is great and all, but I really enjoyed hell a lot more. I'd like to go there."

His wish is granted. When the elevator doors open in hell, he is greeted by horror. The whole place is dark and gloomy, his friends are screaming as they are burning in pits of fire, and demons walk around beating with pitch forks those who try to escape the flames.

The politician walks up to Satan and demands an explanation. "Yesterday it was so nice! A garden, golf, beautiful women, free food and drinks. Yet today you are torturing my friends. What the heck man?" The devil (no longer friendly and cool as he was the day before) smiles slyly. "Sorry for the mixup. But you are a politician, so surely you understand: yesterday we were campaigning, but today you voted."