90+91+92+93+94+95+96+97+98+99=945
Thứ Hai, 27 tháng 6, 2016
Two guys are walking their dogs down the street...
One has a golden retriever the other a Chihuahua. As they are going along the one with the retriever sees a bar. He turns to his friend and suggests they go in for a quick drink. His friend says "That would be great but see the sign, no dogs allowed". The guy turns to him and says "Don't worry, just do what I do". So the guy puts on some sunglasses and goes into the bar with his retriever. The tender turns to him and says "Hey! No dogs allowed". The guy quickly retorts "Oh no, this is my seeing eye dog". The bartender says ok and lets him sit.
His friend thinks about it and figures, why not. He puts on some sunglasses and walks in. The tender quickly turns and yells, "Hey! No dogs allowed in the bar!"
The friend quickly replies "No, you don't understand. This is my seeing eye dog!"
The bartender replies skeptically "A Chihuahua is your seeing eye dog?"
"THEY GAVE ME A CHIHUAHUA?!"
When the US went to the moon....
...they planted the American Flag. After all these years the radiation from the Sun will have bleached it completely white, so now if Aliens find it they are going to think the French were there first.
Photos of How Life Changes When Your 20-Year-Old Girlfriend Gets Cancer
Photos of How Life Changes When Your 20-Year-Old Girlfriend Gets Cancer
Recent photography grad Johnny Griffiths set out to change perceptions of the disease when he found out that Hannah, his girlfriend, had been diagnosed with stage-four Hodgkins Lymphoma.
June 27, 2016 at 01:34AM
via Digg http://ift.tt/28TYET3
A professor, a CEO, and a janitor are in a forest when they discover a magic fairy.
The fairy says "I will give you what you most desire if you do someone else's job for a day."
The professor says "I'll be an elementary school teacher. What can be so hard about teaching a bunch of 6-year-olds how to read?" so he is teleported into a classroom. After a few minutes, all the kids' screaming gets to his nerves, so he throws all his supplies and gives up.
The C.E.O says "I'll be a waiter. All you do is carry food back and forth. This'll be a breeze" so he is teleported to a restaurant. After about an hour, all the annoying customers drive him insane, so he smashes his plates on the ground and gives up.
The janitor says "I'll be an artist" so he is transported to an art facility. He glues all the classroom supplies and shattered plates to a canvas, then sells it for a billion dollars. The fairy asks the janitor how he was so clever.
The janitor says "I got a masters degree in art."
A man goes into a job interview...
A man goes into a job interview, and presents himself well.
The employer is shocked at how professional he is,
"Wow, you have an incredible resume, and present yourself fantastically, but you seem to be missing 5 years on this part of your resume. What happened there?"
The man replied "Oh that's when I went to Yale."
The employer is even more impressed. "That's great, you're hired!"
The man is super happy and says "Yay I got a yob!"
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