They can't even stand up for themselves
Thứ Năm, 7 tháng 7, 2016
While on a walk two men pass a bar...
Two friends are out walking their dogs on a hot summer day when they pass a bar.
"Let's stop and grab a drink"
"They don't allow pets - let's just keep going"
"Follow my lead"
The first man walks into the bar, his dog in tow.
"Sorry but we don't allow dogs in here."
"Excuse me but this is my seeing eye dog."
The bartender gives the man and the dog a once over. Seeing his sunglasses and a German Shepard, he quickly apologizes "Pardon me sir, first round is on the house!"
He quickly flashes a smile back at his friend and makes his way to a table. The second man walks in, with both sunglasses and dog, doing his best to mimic the confidence his friend wielded.
"Umm, sorry but we do not allow pets here."
"Well excuse me but this is my seeing eye dog."
The bartender narrows his gaze and sighs.
"You're telling me that Chihuahua is a seeing eye dog?"
Taking a moment to collect himself, the friend says, "They gave me a Chihuahua?!?!"
A Blond, Brunette and a Redhead go to a Bar
They come up to the bartender and the bartender says "we have a magic mirror in the girl's bathroom, if you tell it a truth about yourself you'll get free drinks and if you tell it a lie it will kill you." Excited, the brunette rushes to the bathroom and says "I think I'm the prettiest out of the three of us." The mirror gives the brunette a voucher for free drinks. Next, the redhead rushes to the bathroom seeing as her best friend had gotten free drinks and says "I think I have the best hair in the group." The mirror gives the redhead a voucher for free drinks and she rushes out. The blond is so surprised, she runs to the bathroom to test it and says "I think-" and immediately dies
Two Syrian refugees compete to see who can become the most American in three weeks.
After three weeks the Syrians meet again at a McDonalds. The first Syrian makes his case for him being more American by saying: "Every day I have taken my son to softball practice and my daughter to ballet. I just purchased my first car and it is a Chevy El Camino. I've recently started listening to Toby Keith and Lynyrd Skynyrd and my favorite football team is the Dallas Cowboys. Beat that!"
The other Syrian simply replies with: "Get out of my country, you fucking towelhead."
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