The Chinese built one over 2,000 years ago and they still don’t have any Mexicans.
Thứ Bảy, 16 tháng 7, 2016
Colossal Statue of Guan Yu in Jingzhou
Colossal Statue of Guan Yu in Jingzhou
An enormous, 48-meter statue of the ancient Chinese warrior Guan Yu was recently unveiled at a park in Jingzhou city in Hubei province. The statue depicts the 3rd century BC general carrying an intimidating axe-like weapon called the "Green Dragon Crescent Blade."
July 15, 2016 at 09:39PM
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Three men die and are sent to Hell.
Satan punishes them based on their sins, they must all spend 80 years locked in a room with their guilty pleasures in life. The alchohalic will have all the booze he can drink. The sex addict will have countless beautiful, horny women. And the pot head will have all the weed he can smoke. The three men face their punishments happily. 80 years later, Satan opens their doors. The alchohalic had drank all the booze and was incredibly sick from a hangover that never cured. He pleaded for repentance, swearing to never drink again. The sex addict had not aged, and was being chased by several unattactive, horny old ladies. He begged Satan to let him go as he had learned his lesson. Finally, Satan openes the door to the pot head's room. To his surprise, non of the weed had been smoked. The pot head was sitting on the floor crying. He said to Satan, "Do you have a lighter man?!"
God went to a Frenchman
He said 'I've got some commandments, do you want some?'
'What are they like?' The Frenchman replied
'Thou shall not commit adultery' Answered God
'I don't think so...' Slurred the Frenchman, so God went to a German and asked if he wanted any.
'What are they like?' The German questioned
'Thou shall not kill' God replied
'Hmmm, perhaps not' The German sighed, so God went to an Italian, offering him some commandments
'What are they like?' The Italian inquired
'Thou shall not steal' Answered God
'Perhaps not' The Italian replied. So God went to a Jew and offered him some commandments
'How much are they?' The Jew asked
'They're free' God answered
'I'll take ten' Said the Jew
Blonds in the woods
There were three blonds walking through the woods, when they come across some tracks.
"These are bear tracks" said the first blond,
"No, these are deer tracks" sais the second,
"You two are both wrong, these are wolf tracks" said the third,
They were all still arguing when the train hit them.
It's three days before prom, and Billy realizes he still hasn't gotten his tux yet...
It's three days before prom, and Billy realizes he still hasn't gotten his tux yet. So, he goes all the way downtown to the tux store and when he opens the door there's a huge long tux line. Apparently everyone in town waited until the last possible minute to rent a tux, which shouldn't be that surprising for a 17 year old boy.
So he waits and he waits and he waits and finally he gets his tux when he over hears two boys talking about their dates and he thinks "Shit! I need to get a corsage."
So Billy heads on down to the florist and of course there is a huge long corsage line. This too, of course shouldn't be surprising as flowers will die and you don't want to buy them too early. He waits and waits and finally he has his flowers. When he's leaving the shop he overhears two ladies looking at flowers and talking about wedding transportation and Billy groans and thinks "I need a limo."
Wouldn't you know it, prom season is prime wedding season as well, and when he gets to the rental agency theres a huge long limo line. Billy spends even longer waiting in the limo line than the other shops, it's nearly dark when he finally gets his limo.
Billy is relieved to finally have everything he needs for the prom and phones his girlfriend Penny to tell her the good news. Penny asks "Did you get the prom tickets?" Billy starts to panic when Penny laughs and told him she got them a week ago and scolds him for waiting so long to reserve everything.
The night of the prom arrives and when Billy and Penny get to the prom theres a huge long prom line to get in, because of course in this day and age they need to search the prom goers for drugs and alcohol and weapons. Billy submits to a pat down and goes into the prom.
Penny says lets go dance for a bit, and after some hard core boogying, Penny suggests they eat. Billy agrees and follows her to the buffet table where there's a huge long buffet line. So they wait and they wait getting hungrier and more impatient until they are finally laden with food and make there way to their table.
They had just begun to eat when Penny realizes she forgot drinks, to which Billy insists upon getting for the both of them. He heads over the the drinks table and there is no punch line.
Yet another redneck finds out his girlfriend is a virgin...
A redneck finds out his girlfriend is a virgin. Upon hearing this, he stands up, turns away from her, and leaves without a word.
Later, when his buddies see him sad at the bar they ask what went wrong, he explains...
"My mom just told me I'm adopted"
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