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Thứ Tư, 20 tháng 7, 2016

A man with only one ear interviews candidates for a job

He is kinda' sensitive about his missing ear, so he asks to the first candidate "do you notice anything different about me?"

The guy hesitates and says "yes, sir, you have only one ear". He is dismissed on point.

The man asks the same question to the second candidate, which replies "yes, one of your ears is missing". Dismissed as well.

The third candidate walks in and the man asks "do you notice anything different about me?". The guy looks closely and says "Yes, of course. You wear contact lenses".

Surprised, the man asks "whoa, how did you know that?"

The guy replies: "well, how could you wear glasses with only one ear?"

Why did the blind woman fall down the well?

Because she couldn't see that well.

Why did America remove the "u" from "colour"?

Because fuck u that's why

Son: "Dad, what's the difference between confident and confidential?"

Dad: "Hmm. You are my son. Of that, I am confident. Your friend Timmy is also my son. That's confidential."

When my girlfriend got pregnant, everything changed

My name, my address, my phone number

What is a suicide bombers worse fear?

Dying alone...

A man gets the words "I love you" tattooed to his penis.

He goes home and tears his pants off, eager to show his girlfriend.

She looks at him and shakes her head saying "There you go again trying to put words in my mouth".