An 80 year old man goes into a brothel..

Picks out a young pretty woman, they go up to her room, strip down and climb into bed. The old man performs like a teenager, the prostitute is amazed at how energetic and agile he is, she tells him if he can do it like that again, she'll give him one for free. He says "Yeah, I can, but I need to take a 20 minute nap, and while I'm asleep, I need you to hold my old pecker.". She agrees, he wakes up 20 minutes later and goes at it again, just as vigorously as before. The girl is amazed at the old man's stamina, and repeats her freebie offer, the old man tells her that once again, he'll need a 20 minute nap and she'll have to hold his cock while he's asleep; she does as he asks, he wakes up 20 minutes later and goes at it again, with even more enthusiasm than previously.

The hooker catches her breath, and needing to satisfy her curiosity, asks the old man "I can understand why you need the nap, but why do I have to hold your dick while you're sleeping?" The old man replies "Oh, that's just so you don't steal my wallet."

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My wife caught me crossdressing..

So I packed her things and left.

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What makes us stronger

What makes us stronger
Some scientists posit that what matters is not just the level of stress, or even its type, but how it is thought about. The same stress, perceived differently, can trigger different physical responses, with differing consequences in turn for both performance and health.

July 24, 2016 at 12:06AM
via Digg http://ift.tt/29Wg1Su

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A frog goes into a bank...

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.

"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $10000 loan to take a holiday."

Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's OK, he knows the bank manager. Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.

The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall - bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office. She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $10000, and he wants to use this as collateral."

She holds up the tiny pink elephant.

"I mean, what in the world is this?"

The bank manager looks back at her and says, "It's a knick-knack, Patty Whack, give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."

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when i die i want my kids to carry my casket.

So they can let me down one more time.

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So there's this redditor that says part of the joke in the title

So there's this redditor that says part of the joke in the title,

then repeats it for no goddamn reason.

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iBoob

Apple Computer announced today that it has developed a computer chip that can store and play high fidelity music in women's breast implants. The iBoob will cost between $499 and $699, depending on the speaker size. This is considered to be a major breakthrough because women have always complained about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.

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