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Thứ Hai, 25 tháng 7, 2016

Two Irish men came down to give Mrs. O'Mally some bad news.

"We have some terrible news about your beloved husband, he fell into a vat of beer and drowned." "Oh my poor Patrick" she moaned "At least he died a sudden death and didn't suffer." "Well I don't know about that Mrs. O'Mally, he got out three times to go pee."

Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make.

Then they call me ugly and poor.

Opening for a CIA job

The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all the interviews were over there were three finalists: two men and a woman.

For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.

"We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill her!"

The man said, "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife." The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job."

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the man came out with tears in his eyes."I tried, but I can't kill my wife." The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."

Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one shot after another. The the agents heard screaming, crashing, and banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman.

She wiped the sweat from her brow, and said, "This gun is loaded with blanks. I had to beat him to death with the chair."

I'm getting my wife's name tattooed on my penis

So I can keep beating her long after she's gone

(I'm so sorry)

Wasserman Schultz steps down as DNC chair


Wasserman Schultz steps down as DNC chair
Wasserman Schultz became fatally damaged goods in her own party after WikiLeaks released a trove of internal DNC emails, including correspondence in which Wasserman Schultz said Bernie Sanders has “never been a member of the Democratic Party and has no understanding of what we do,” among other things. She will officially leave her post at the end of this week's Democratic National Convention.

July 25, 2016 at 04:23AM
via Digg http://ift.tt/29Tp5KV

With the Zika virus and how much hooking up happens in the Olympic Village..

The Special Olympics are gonna be awesome in 12 to 14 years.

What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck!