Sure, there's plenty of fish in the sea. But until i catch one, I'm just stuck here holding my rod.
Chủ Nhật, 7 tháng 8, 2016
Russian Joke: A little girl goes up to her mother...
...and asks her,
"Mommy, why does everyone say my face looks like an ass?"
Her mother replies,
"Oh honey no, you're beautiful! Don't listen to them, just go talk to your father."
So the little girl finds her father and asks him,
"Papa, why does everyone say that my face looks like an ass?"
And her father replies,
"No honey...don't listen to them. You're my beautiful little princess! Why don't you go talk to your grandfather? He's outside digging a well nearby."
So the little girl goes outside and finds the well, which her grandfather is inside of, digging. She leans over the edge and shouts down the well,
"Grandpa! Grandpa!"
So her Grandfather looks up and shouts,
"DON'T SHIT! DON'T SHIT!!!"
So a gorilla dies of old age at a zoo...
...right before the zoo opens. It is the only gorilla at the zoo since they are not very profitable. However, the gorilla is their most popular attraction by far, and they cannot afford to go a day without it. So the zoo owner asks one of his workers to wear a gorilla suit they have in storage for an extra $100 a day if he will go in the gorilla cage and pretend to be the gorilla until the zoo can afford a new one. Quickly, the new "gorilla" becomes the most popular craze at the zoo. People from all over are coming to see the "Human-like" gorilla. About a month in, the craze has started to wear off. So, to get peoples attention back, he decides to climb over his enclosure and hang from the net ceiling above the lions den next to him. A large crowd of people gather watching the spectacle in awe and terror. Suddenly the man loses his grip and falls to the floor of the lions den. The man starts screaming "HELP!! HELP!!!" Suddenly a lion pounces him from behind and whispers in his ear, "Shut the fuck up right now or you're going to get us both fired."
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