Sorry, did that not make any sense?
How about -
"A dozen, a gross, and a score,
plus three times the square root of four,
divided by seven,
plus five times eleven,
is nine squared and not a bit more."
Thứ Tư, 10 tháng 8, 2016
For a change of pace, here's a limerick; "( (12 + 144 + 20 + 3 Sqrt[4]) / 7 ) + 5*11 = 9^2 + 0"
No balls.
A bloke goes to the council to apply for a job in the office. The interviewer asks him,"Are you allergic to anything"? He replies, "Yes caffeine." "Have you ever worked for the public service before." "Yes I was in the army"he says,I was in Iraq for two tours." The interviewer says, "That will give you 5 extra points toward employment. Then he asks,"Are you disabled in any way?" The guy says "Yes,a mine exploded next to me when I was there and I lost both my testicles." The interviewer grimaces and then says,"O.K. You've got enough points for me to take you on right away. Our normal hours are from 8.00am to 4.00pm.......but you can start tomorrow at 10.00am-and carry on starting at 10.00am everyday." The bloke is puzzled and asks."If the work hours are from 8.00am to 4.00pm ,why don't you want me here until 10.00am? I'm not looking for any special treatment y'know." "What you have to understand is that this is a council job,"the interviewer says, "For the first two hours,we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls. There's no point coming in for that."
A university student wanted to sit next to one of his teachers at lunch
However, the teacher looked at the student with an arrogant face and said:
'A swan shan't be friends with a pig.'
'Then I shall fly on,' answered the student with a smile.
The teacher was clearly vexed by the cheeky reply and decided to make sure to do everything in his power to fail the student at the exams.
At the oral exam, he gave the student the hardest questions, but the student had amazing answers for everything. Therefore, hoping he could still fail his victim, the teacher asked him a trickier question:
'You're walking on a road and you find two bags. One contains gold, the other cleverness. Which bag do you choose?'
'The gold.'
'Unfortunately, I don't agree. I'd choose cleverness, because that's more important than money.'
'Everyone would choose what they don't have,' says the student.
The teacher turns red, and he's so angry he writes "ass" on the student's paper. The student leaves without looking at the paper. However, he returns shortly, gives back his paper and says:
'Excuse me sir, you did sign my paper, but you forgot to give my grade!'
First Aid
A woman goes into a restaurant in a small town out in the country.
She orders the chicken and starts to eat.
Eating too fast she starts to choke on a chicken bone.
Well these two hillbillies in the next booth notice she is choking,
so they get up and go over to help her.
The first country boy drops his coveralls and bends over
and the second hillbilly starts licking his butt.
The woman watches these two go at it and is grossed out.
She pukes all over the place, dislodging the chicken bone from her throat.
The hillbilly pulls his overalls back up and says to the other,
"You're right Leroy, that hind-lick maneuver works like a charm."
Confession...
A woman takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work.
Unbeknownst to her, her 9 year old son was hiding in the closet. Her husband comes home unexpectedly, so she puts the lover in the closet with the little boy.
The little boy says, "Dark in here."
The man says, "Yes it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball."
Man - "That's nice."
Boy - "Want to buy it?"
Man - "No, thanks."
Boy - "My dad's outside."
Man - "OK, how much?"
Boy - "$250."
In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom's lover are in the closet together.
Boy - "Dark in here."
Man - "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball glove."
The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, "How much?"
Boy - "$750."
Man - "Fine."
A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove. Let's go outside and toss the baseball back and forth."
The boy says, "I can't. I sold them."
The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"
The son says "$1,000."
The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that. That is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."
They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.
The boy says, "Dark in here."
The priest says, "Don't start that shit again."
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