...and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water....
Thứ Tư, 17 tháng 8, 2016
Donald Trump has been kidnapped by terrorists!
I heard it on the radio while I was driving down the freeway on my way to work. But then I was stuck in traffic.
Some guys came up to my car, knocked on my window and said "Sir, as you must have heard, Donald Trump has been kidnapped by terrorists! They have demanded a 50 Billion dollar ransom, or else they will douse him in gasoline and burn him alive! We are going car to car asking for a contribution."
"Oh Dear!" I exclaimed. "What is the average contribution people are giving to this great and noble cause?"
"About a gallon, sir"...
Two statues in a park.....
.....one of a nude man and one of a nude woman. They had been facing each other across a pathway for a hundred years, when one day an angel comes down from the sky and, with a single gesture, brings the two to life.
The angel tells them, "As a reward for being so patient through a hundred blazing summers and dismal winters, you have been given life for thirty minutes to do what you've wished to do the most."
He looks at her, she looks at him, and they go running behind the shrubbery. The angel waits patiently as the bushes rustle and giggling...
I was watching porn with the missus and she complained, "This is so unrealistic."
I said, "Just because you're unwilling to try new things, doesn't mean everyone's that frigid."
"Not that," she explained, "It's just the plumbers that come to our house have tiny dicks."...
All the organs of the body were having a meeting
...trying to decide who was the one in charge.
"I should be in charge," said the brain, "Because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen."
"I should be in charge," said the blood, "Because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd all waste away."
"I should be in charge," said the stomach," Because I process food and give all of you energy."
"I should be in charge," said the legs, "because I carry the body wherever it needs to go."
"I should be in charge," said the eyes, "Because I allow the body to see where it...
Đăng ký:
Bài đăng (Atom)