Cold on the outside, warm on the inside, and willing and able to kill any baby I put inside them.
Chủ Nhật, 21 tháng 8, 2016
Three engineers are riding in a car.
One is a mechanical engineer, one is an electrical engineer, and one is a computer engineer. The car breaks down and coasts to the side of the road. "Hang on," says the mechanical engineer. "The problem is probably the engine, let me have a look at it and I'll have us on the road again in no time." "Wait," says the electrical engineer. "The way it just stopped like that, I think it's the electrical system. Let me have a look and I'll get us going again in a minute or two." "Hold on," says the computer engineer. "Why don't we all just get out of the car and get in again, and then see if it starts?"
Tough to be Irish
"What's your name?", asked the teacher.
"Mohammad," he replied.
"You're in Ireland now," replied the teacher, "So from now on you will be known as Mike." Mohammad returned home after school.
"How was your day, Mohammad?", his mother asked.
"My name is not Mohammad. I'm in Ireland and now my name is Mike”.
"Are you ashamed of your name? Are you trying to dishonor your parents, your heritage, your religion? Shame on you!" And his mother beat the shit out of him. Then she called his father, who beat the shit out of him again.
The next day Mohammad returned to school. The teacher saw all of his fresh bruises. "What happened to you, Mike?", she asked.
"Well shortly after becoming an Irishman, I was attacked by two fucking Arabs."
Popular Mechanics is guest curating Digg today. Check out their picks.
Popular Mechanics is guest curating Digg today. Check out their picks.
Digg Editions gets you the most out of the internet with top news and the most interesting stories handpicked by our editors
August 20, 2016 at 06:51PM
via Digg http://ift.tt/2bl2mXK
So my girlfriend and I were out to dinner...
..and she just reaches over and takes some of my food! So I ask her, "can you tie 2 strings together?"
What?
"I'm asking, can you tie 2 pieces of string together?"
I don't understand
"Oh I'm sorry, what I'm asking is: can you fucking knot?"
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