FunnyStory about animals and all around the world
Funny Video about animals and all around the world! :)
Funny picture about animals and all around the world :)
Play game and comfortable :)
Go to Blogger edit html and find these sentences.Now replace these sentences with your own descriptions.
Before he gets out of earshot of his father, he yells "Jim Morrison was a terrible singer and an uninspired artist who never did anything worthwhile".
His father cannot believe this insolence, and screams at the top of his lungs "As long as you live in this house, you will never, EVER SLAM THE DOORS"
And lands her eyes on a beautiful parrot. Lovely plumage and everything. She goes to the store owner and says, "I want this parrot. How much is it for?"
The shop owner says, "2000 dollars"
The lady says, "I understand the parrot is beautiful, but isn't the price a bit too high?"
Shop owner says, "Lady, this parrot is called Mickey and it talks. A lot. Go ahead ask it something."
The lady asks the parrot - "Hello Mickey, what do you think of me?"
The parrot says - "I think you're a cum-hungry whore, bitch!"
The lady is offended and says, "No way am I taking such a potty-mouth parrot."
The shop owner intervenes with "Lady, please give me 10 minutes and I will ensure Mickey behaves."
The shop owner then takes the parrot to the back of the store, brings out a pale of water, dunks Mickey in and asks "Are you going to fucking swear again?"
Mickey says, "Sure as fuck I will, you piece of shit!"
The shop owner then gets another bucket full of ice water, dunks Mickey in for 15 seconds and says, "How about now, fuckwit?"
Mickey goes, "I have learned my lesson, master. Please don't ever do that to me again. I shall be civil for the rest of my days."
The shop owner then brings Mickey back out and tells the lady, "I have cured him. You can test."
The lady then says, "Mickey, what will you say if I come home with a man?"
Mickey says, "That you have come home with your husband."
The lady asks again, "And what if I come home with two men?"
Mickey says, "That you are having a family dinner with your husband and your brother."
The lady then asks, "And what if I come home with three men?"
Mickey says, "Bro you better fetch that bucket of ice-water, I told you the bitch is a fucking whore."
A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts: :Excuse me, can you help me? I promised my friend I would meet him half an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.”
The man below says: “Yes. You are in a hot air balloon, hovering approximately 30 feet above this field. You are between 40 and 42 degrees N. latitude, and between 58 and 60 degrees W. longitude.”
“You must be an engineer” says the balloonist.
“I am” replies the man. “How did you know?”
“Well” says the balloonist, “everything you have told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost.”
The man below says “You must be a manager.”
“I am” replies the balloonist, “but how did you know?”
“Well”, says the man, “you don’t know where you are, or where you are going. You have made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. The fact is you are in the exact same position you were in before we met, but now it is somehow my fault.”
.......that it is changing the national flag to a CONDOM, because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance.
A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security whilst you're actually being fucked!!
“My wife Suzie must love me more than any woman has ever loved any man!”
“What makes you say that?” the bartender inquired.
“Last week,” Bill explained, “I had to take a couple of sick days from work. Suzie was so thrilled to have me around that every time the milkman or mailman came by, she’d run down the driveway waving her arms and hollering, ‘My husband’s home! My husband’s home!’”
Months pregnant and I'm starting to panic a little. Do you think I am too old to be a dad?