Because in charge of scheduling, Yoda was.
Thứ Tư, 31 tháng 8, 2016
The deeply religious Jim and Joan are freshly married
As they begin to consummate their marriage, Jim moves straight for anal. Joan stops him "No, that's not the right hole."
"How would you know?" Asks Jim
"I was late after choir practice one day, and Father Henry and I talked about the sins of the flesh. Then he showed me how it was done so I could stay away from it and be wise and virtuous."
"Well that's weird." says Jim. "When we had that discussion, Father Henry put it in my ass."
Three women sat discussing their husbands and their sex lives
"My husband's a wrestler," said the first. "He's really strong and aggressive in bed."
"My husband's an artist," said the second. "He's really gentle and sensitive."
"My husband's an IBM salesman," said the third. "He sits on the edge of the bed and tells me how good it's going to be when I finally get it."
Thứ Ba, 30 tháng 8, 2016
There was an accident at the clinic and my wife's blood tests got mixed up. She's either got Altzheimers or Aids...
I begged the doctor for some advice. He thought for a little bit and said. There's a special clinic about six miles down the road. You could drop her there...
"Will they cure her?"
"No they won't, but if she finds her way home, don't fuck her."
A blonde finds herself sitting next to a lawyer on a plane..
A blonde who finds herself sitting next to a lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer just keeps bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence. Finally, the lawyer offers her 10 to 1 odds, and says every time the blonde can not answer one of his questions, she owes him $5, but every time he cannot answer hers, he’ll give her $50. The lawyer figures he could not lose, and the blonde reluctantly accepts.
The lawyer first asks, “What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?”
Without saying a word the blonde hands him $5. The blonde then asks, “What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?”
Well, the lawyer is puzzled. He takes several hours, looking up everything he can on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to find the answer. Finally, angry and frustrated, he gives up and pays the blonde $50
The blonde put the $50 into her purse without comment, but the lawyer insists, “What is the answer to your question?”
Without saying a word, the blonde hands him $5.
A guy was nailing his interview
A guy was nailing his interview when the employer said "well you look great but I see here there was a 7 year gap since your last job, what happened there?".
The guy says "oh I went to yale".
The employer: "oh great!! Well you're hired, you start monday"
Guy: "Yay! I got a yob!"
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