Man walks into a bar and orders three shots of whiskey.

Man walks into a bar and orders three separate shots of whiskey. He solemnly drinks each one. The bartender asks why he needs the three separate shots, and why all at once.

"Well, this one's for me brother in Dublin. This one's for me brother in New York. And this one's for me. Seein' as how we can't be in the same bar, we figure if all three of us do this once a month, well--it's almost like we're drinkin' together."

A month goes by, and the guy comes back in, orders three shots, drinks all three. And again each month, for years. When asked to explain, he always says the same thing: "Well, this one's for me brother in Dublin. This one's for me brother in New York. And this one's for me."

Until one month when the guy comes in and orders only two shots. Drinks them solemn as you please. The concerned bartender asks: "Excuse me, but--did something happen to one of your brothers?"

"No--this one's for me brother in Dublin. And this one's for me brother in New York. I quit drinkin'."

Read More

Three men are walking along the beach...

Three men are walking along the beach of a tropical island when they encounter a lone mermaid. The mermaid seems friendly, and the men are amazed at seeing this beautiful woman, so they strike up a conversation with her.

Eventually, the first man asks "Have you ever been kissed before?"

"No," responds the mermaid. So the first man kisses her, and she enjoys it.

The second man then asks "Have you ever had your breasts fondled before?"

"Oh, my, no!" says the mermaid, clearly embarrassed. The second man then convinces her to allow him to fondle her breasts, and she enjoys it also.

Finally, the third man says to the mermaid "have you ever been fucked before?"

"Oh, goodness, no!", the mermaid says, her face bright red from embarrassment.

The third man responds, "Well, you are now, the tide's out."

Read More

Today, a feminist asked me how I view lesbian relationships...

Apparently "in HD" was not the right answer.

Read More

My favorite joke

Two guys are drinking in the restaurant atop the Space Needle on a windy day.

Man 1: You... You know... When it is this windy, you can jump off the edge, and the wind will blow you back on.

Man 2: Bull.

Man 1: No man, I'm telling you. The wind just blows you back on. Here, let me show you.

The two men drunkily sneak outside and stand on the edge. When another gust comes, the first man leaps off the edge. He floats in the wind for a moment, and sure enough, the wind whips him back onto the ledge.

Man 2: I gotta try this!

He takes a running leap from the edge and plummets straight to his death.

Afterwards, the police are investigating the scene and the Chief of Police goes up to the first man.

Chief: You know, you're a real jerk when you're drunk Superman.

Read More

The best part about being an abortionist..? [NSFW]

I haven't had to buy dog food in a long, long time.

Read More

Discrimination by Design

Discrimination by Design
The many ways design decisions treat people unequally.

September 1, 2016 at 09:53PM
via Digg http://ift.tt/2cbYENW

Read More

The Real-Life Superhero Who Beats the Cops to Bike Thieves

The Real-Life Superhero Who Beats the Cops to Bike Thieves
Bike Batman was just an average-seeming guy in Seattle who liked to ride his bicycles. He had no inkling to become a vigilante who would face off against criminals while armed with little more than a smartphone, some spare time, and a pair of brass balls. But sometimes in life, the cape finds you.

September 1, 2016 at 06:20AM
via Digg http://ift.tt/2bWh7AE

Read More