Funny Story

FunnyStory about animals and all around the world

Thứ Sáu, 2 tháng 9, 2016

If Hillary Clinton is elected as our first female President it's really going to redefine a few things for me....

....Like the words President Bush....

Why are there so many women archeologists?

Because they love digging up the past....

never heard this before

Knock knock Who's there? Dishes. Dishes who ? DISH IS SEAN CONNERY...

Drinking problem

A bartender is sitting behind his bar when a well dressed but obviously intoxicated man stumbles in. "Bartender! A drink for everyone, a drink for me, and a drink for yourself!" The man yells as he approaches. Bartender pours all the drinks, the the whole bar cheers, they all drink. Bartender hands the bill to the man, and he just shrugs and says, "Oh I didn't bring my wallet with me tonight, sorry." The bartender proceeds to beat the living daylights out of the man and throws him out. Next night, bartender is again behind his bar when the same...

A guy buys a vintage motorcycle he saw for sale in an ad in the paper...

When he goes to pick the bike up, the dude who sells him the bike says, " "Now remember....that's all original leather. You can't let it get too wet. If it starts raining and you don't have anywhere to shelter it, make sure you keep a tub of vaseline with you. Rub it all over the seat so the water will just bead off." The guy takes his new bike and goes to pick up his girlfriend. The girlfriend invites the guy over to her parents house for dinner. This will be the first time he's ever eaten with her family. "I should let you know the rule of the...

I hate how funerals are always at 9 or 10am...

I'm not really a mourning person....

Man walks into a bar and orders three shots of whiskey.

Man walks into a bar and orders three separate shots of whiskey. He solemnly drinks each one. The bartender asks why he needs the three separate shots, and why all at once. "Well, this one's for me brother in Dublin. This one's for me brother in New York. And this one's for me. Seein' as how we can't be in the same bar, we figure if all three of us do this once a month, well--it's almost like we're drinkin' together." A month goes by, and the guy comes back in, orders three shots, drinks all three. And again each month, for years. When asked to...