How do feminists screw in a lightbulb?

By holding the bulb up to the socket and waiting for the world to revolve around them

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They say 1 in 3 people live next to a pedophile

Not me I live next to 2 smoking hot 8 year olds

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What's the difference between a feminist and a gun?

A gun actually does something when it's triggered.

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Why did Boba Fett work alone?

Because he was hunting Solo.

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Apple woke up their lead designer in the middle of the night

To ask him about ideas for the new iPhone. The disgruntled designer told them "Jack off". The marketing department found the idea fantastic.

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What's the difference between humans and bullets?

Humans miss Harambe.

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A man gets pulled over by the police...

A man was stopped by the police around 2 am. The officer asked him where he was going at that time of night. The man replied, "I'm on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late." The officer then asked, "Really? Who's giving that lecture at this time of night?" The man replied, "That would be my wife."

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