Who is there?
Etch
Etch Who?
Bless You
Time to be down voted till hell and back
Thứ Ba, 13 tháng 9, 2016
A sad, depressed guy is walking along the beach...
Suddenly he hears a booming voice from above, and it yells, "DIG!"
Confused, the man stops and he hears the voice again, this time louder. "DIG!"
So he immediately falls to his knees and starts digging in the sand. Suddenly he hits something solid. A buried chest. "OPEN!" Yells the booming voice.
So the man opens the chest to find hundreds of thousands of dollars inside. "CASINO!" Booms the voice.
So the man runs off the beach, flags down a cab and tells the driver to head to the nearest casino. After 20 minutes the cab arrives. "ENTER!" Booms the voice.
The man enters the casino. "ROULETTE!"
So the man heads straight to the roulette table and awaits further instruction. "RED 21!"
The man then puts the entire contents of the chest on red 21. The croupier spins the wheel and the result is black 4. The booming voice yells "FUCK!"
Two old guys, one 80 and one 87, were sitting on a park bench one morning.
The 87-year-old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath.
The 80-year-old was amazed at the guy's stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy.
The 87-year-old said, "Well, I eat rye bread every day. It keeps your energy level high and you'll have great stamina with the ladies." So, on the way home the 80-year-old stopped at the bakery. As he was looking around, the saleslady asked if he needed any help.
He said, "Do you have any rye bread?"
She said, "Yes, there's a whole shelf of it. Would you like some?"
He said, "I want five loaves."
She said, "My goodness, five loaves! By the time you get to the 3rd loaf, it'll be hard."
He replied, "I can't believe everybody knows about this shit but me."
I walked in on my son trying to suck his own penis.
He jumped up, "Dad! It's not what it looks like!"
"Don't worry, son." I replied. "I've tried too."
He said, "Really?"
I said, "Yeah. But you woke up before I had the chance."
Thứ Hai, 12 tháng 9, 2016
Great Mystery
Newsboy : "Great mystery! Fifty victims! Paper, mister ?"
Passerby : "Here boy, I'll take one" (After reading a moment) "Say, boy, there's nothing of the kind in this paper. Where is it ?"
Newsboy : "That's the mystery, sir. You're the fifty first victim".
A kid asks his dad what the difference between 'realistically' and 'potentially' is
A kid walks upto his dad. He asks him to explain the difference between the words realistically and potentially.
His father responds by telling him to go ask his mother if she would sleep with their neighbour, Brett, for a million dollars. He then told him to also ask his sister whether she would sleep with their neighbour, Brett, for a million dollars. And he also told him to ask his brother whether he would sleep with Brett for a million dollars.
The kid asks everyone. He comes back and tells his dad that they all said yes.
His father responds that potentially, we're sitting on 3 million dollars. Realistically, we have two whores and a faggot in the family.
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