I was on the bus with my gf and this smoking hot Thai chick sat next to me. I thought "don't get a boner, don't get a boner."

But she did.

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Jack and Jill work together in an office...

Things are getting very slow and the manager realizes he has to let one of them go but he can't decide. The manager approaches Jill and says "I have to lay you or Jack off".

"Jack off!" snaps Jill "I have a headache".

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I call my wife "Happy Meal"...

She's not enough to satisfy me but she comes with a toy...

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My girlfriend said if this get 100 upvotes , we'll try anal.

So please don't vote, her strap-on is huge and it really scares me.

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What did the Pirate say on his 80th birthday?

Aye Matey

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So I was at the Library today

.. And a black Gentleman came over to me and asked where the coloured printer was. I replied "Man its 2016 you can use any printer!"

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I really think Hillary Clinton will be the first f president

Oops. I meant female but the emale got deleted

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