Because I might vote for it.
Thứ Hai, 26 tháng 9, 2016
A twelve year old boy is walking along the side of a road...
A twelve year old boy is walking along the side of a road. He is dragging a string with him, and attached to that string is a flattened frog. He walks for a few more minutes until he reaches a brothel.
He walks inside and the lady at the front desk immediately stops him and says "I'm sorry son but you are too young to receive any of the services that we offer here. Are you lost? Would you like me to help you find your parents?"
He flashes her a few hundred dollar bills and she says "Well okay then, how can I help you?"
"I would like to sleep with the nastiest woman that you have here. I want the woman with the most stds." He says.
"Well that is certainly odd request," she replies, "but we can most definitely help you with that."
So the boy goes off and sleeps with the most disgusting prostitute of them all and just before he leaves the lady at the front desk stops him.
"Excuse me, I'm sorry but I have to ask. Of all the beautiful women we have here, why did you want to sleep with her?"
He pauses for a moment then responds, "Ok I will only answer because you let me in here. Well when I go home tonight my parents are going to go out to dinner, so they are going to need a baby sitter. Well I am going to fuck the baby sitter and she is going to contract all of the stds I got from that nasty beast I just slept with. When my parents finally return from their night out, my baby sitter is going to need a ride home. So my dad will go and drop her off at her house. But before that happens, my dad is going to convince her to sleep with him as well and then he will receive all of the stds. When my dad gets back he is still going to be a little horny, so he is going to go upstairs and have sex with my mom and all the stds will be transferred to her. Well the next morning after my dad leaves for work and I'm at school, the milkman is going to stop by and drop off the day's milk. Well my mom is going to sleep with the milkman and he is going to contract all the stds that she has, and that's the son of a bitch who ran over my frog."
Government lawyers don’t understand the Internet. That’s a problem.
Government lawyers don’t understand the Internet. That’s a problem.
Last year, the FBI nearly destroyed the life of an innocent physicist, all because the law isn't keeping up with technology.
September 26, 2016 at 01:59AM
via Digg http://ift.tt/2drcSM7
A guy sticks his head into a barber shop and asks.....
"Hey, Mate! how long before I can get a haircut?"
The barber look around the shop and says "about 2 hours," and the guy leaves.
A few days later the same guy sticks his head in the door and asks..."How long before I can get a haircut?"
Again, the barber looks around at shop full of customers and says"about 2 hours." The guy leaves.
A week later the same guy sticks his head in the shop and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looks around the shop and says, "About an hour and a half". The guy leaves.
The barber looks over at a friend in the shop and says "Hey, Joey, I'll give you a free cut if you follow that guy and see where he goes."
In a little while, Joey comes back into the shop laughing hysterically. The barber says,"this must be good, where did he go when he left here?"
Joey says, "To your house!"
You Know What Is The Difference Between Girls Aged:- 8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58, 68?
At 8: “You Take Her To Bed And Tell Her A Story”
At 18: “You Tell Her A Story And Take Her To Bed”
At 28: “You Don’t Need To Tell Her A Story To Take Her To Bed”
At 38: “She Tells You A Story And Takes You To Bed”
At 48: “You Tell Her A Story To Avoid Going To Bed”
At 58: “You Stay In Bed To Avoid Her Story”
At 68: “If You Take Her To Bed, That’ll Be A Story“
why would you be a suicide bomber...
And wait for the 72 virgins in heaven... When you could become a catholic preist and have them now!
Source: Jimmy Carr
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