An unconscious man arrives at a hospital...

After a series of x-rays, the radiologist discovered the man had several plastic horses in his anus.

The doctors have declared his condition as "stable".

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I bought my girlfriend a fridge for her birthday

I know its not the greatest gift, but you should've seen her face light up when she opened it.

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Donald Trump's plan to build a wall might actually work.

The Chinese built a huge wall, and they have almost no Mexicans in their country.

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I said Hi to a girl and she replied "I have a boyfriend"...

"And I have a math test", I told her. "What?", she replied, "What does that have to do with anything?".

"Oh", I said, "I thought we were both naming things we would cheat on."

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Who would win a battle between an orangutan and a hyena?

I don't know, but we'll find out November 8, 2016.

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[Long] A beautiful prostitute

A man is driving around the New York City late one night looking for a prostitute. He pulls over at a corner and sees what may be the most gorgeous woman he's ever laid eyes on. The man says, "you are one of the most beautiful girls I've ever seen out here, I've gotta ask, how much do you charge for a handjob?" The woman responds that it'll be $100. The man is shocked and asks why it's so expensive. The woman points to a Mercedes on the other side of the street and says, "see that car over there, my handjobs paid for that." So the man agrees and the woman gives him the most amazing handjob he's ever had. The next day, the man can't stop thinking about the night before and decides to go back again. This time he pulls up and says, "I know it's going to be expensive, but I have to ask, how much for a blowjob?" The woman responds that it's $500 and says "see that townhouse over there? My blowjobs paid for that." The man just can't refuse and the prostitute proceeds to give him the most mind-blowing blowjob he's ever had in his life. Before he leaves, the man says "I have to know, if you're handjobs and blowjobs are that expensive, how much do you charge for sex?" The prostitute responds, "see Manhattan over there? If I had a pussy, I would own that whole island."

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#TrumpWon? trend vs. reality

#TrumpWon? trend vs. reality
Typically you see a trend jump from one city to another before reaching country-wide or world-wide status. This was not the case here.

September 29, 2016 at 09:19PM
via Digg http://ift.tt/2dnkMsh

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